Love: Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend...

By Today - 07/09/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 295

You deserved it 6 594

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Same thing different taste

Stuck in the middle with you

By Carrie - 28/03/2020 02:00

Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 280

By fthislyfe - 02/07/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 7 936

Gross dude

By summer - 26/03/2021 21:30

Today, I had to beg my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This is a basic weekly argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 325

My feefees

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 00:00

Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 120

Gross dude, dude

By GhostPenguin - 08/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 177

By Georgia - 13/05/2011 01:02

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 563

You deserved it 6 053

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 4 641

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 3 820

Revenge!

By princess98 - 18/11/2019 05:00

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 812

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 274

You deserved it 30 182

jacetopia96 1

Tuesday 7 September 2010 9:36

I thought it was Rock, Paper, Scissors?

unfortunate_13 5

Tuesday 7 September 2010 9:13

no shower, no sex. it's as simple as that.

Comments

od4ev 13

Wednesday 8 September 2010 0:54

Dont **** him, then he will def run to the shower

trublu2 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 0:54

ydi for calling it "paper rock or scissors" what planet r u from?

Daft_Punk709 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 1:00

Don't you mean Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

beetman5 4

Wednesday 8 September 2010 3:02

well if you cant even say rock paper scissors to not sound like a total dumbass, YDI

sugarpeach 2

Wednesday 8 September 2010 3:31

ydi, its rock paper scissors

xohockeyfreak10x 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 3:46

*rock, paper, scissors. lol

gzat166 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 4:15

it's rock paper scissors dipshit

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 6:18

"Paper, Rock, or Scissors" ?!?! What?!?!! ARE YOU SERIOUS???? YDI for NOT knowing how to say 1> SCISSORS , 2>PAPER, 3>ROCK> FAIL!

DNMendez95 3

Wednesday 8 September 2010 6:30

and your with him because?

squirell_AIDS69 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 6:47

It's Rock, Paper, Scissors where I'm from.

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The Top

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 442

You deserved it 4 299

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 027

You deserved it 5 457

The Top

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 711

You deserved it 2 595

Today, I got a text from my ex-girlfriend asking me if I wanted an old college hoodie back. I said yes and thank you, and she replied saying, "Well I don’t respect you, so don’t contact me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 95

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 085

You deserved it 4 679

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 007

You deserved it 20 792

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 373

Today, I ordered lunch from DoorDash. I was surprised by how good the dish was, and went back on to rate the dish, and sent it. Without realizing, my phone autocorrected my review to “it looks the way hell tastes”. I don’t even know what I tried to say. I hope they don’t spit in my food next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 706