Miscellaneous: Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one...

By Awahso - 16/10/2013 21:42 - United States - Buford

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 224

You deserved it 3 612

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 983

You deserved it 8 237

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 9 362

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 34 020

By shaverguy - 15/06/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 780

You deserved it 13 567

By Ash - 14/06/2019 14:02

Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 129

By Bullocks - 27/04/2012 05:49 - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 258

You deserved it 4 444

By fedexed - 27/07/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 283

You deserved it 10 373

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 1 392

By MailMaster - 22/07/2011 04:20 - Australia

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 320

You deserved it 2 873

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 193

You deserved it 43 434

SweetJTBR 22

Thursday 17 October 2013 9:20

Think outside the box!

misslady23 10

Thursday 17 October 2013 9:20

Oh the irony...

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 17 October 2013 16:39

I sometimes wonder what they have been thinking for opening...a letter opener usually works...

harrypotter4evur 15

Thursday 17 October 2013 16:43

Wow. That's ironic on so many levels.

CrazyMelvin 14

Thursday 17 October 2013 16:43

Most things get shipped on a box...

jmacfan1 16

Thursday 17 October 2013 17:08

Get a can opener

jrock9093 18

Thursday 17 October 2013 17:14

Be a man and use your keys or your hands or a pen stab and pull

musikchik 6

Thursday 17 October 2013 17:51

I'd just use my keys.

Liam_the_master 6

Thursday 17 October 2013 18:37

That's how they get you!

blackonblight 32

Thursday 17 October 2013 18:44

And this is when you make sure no one is watching, pull out your Swiss Army knife and open the damn thing with that.

willymartinds 9

Thursday 17 October 2013 19:20

physically

angiespook 18

Thursday 17 October 2013 19:28

Catch 22.

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 70

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, my memory loss hit a new low as I was filling out paperwork and couldn't remember my son's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 123

You deserved it 491

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 127

You deserved it 5 568

Today, I bought shampoos and household chemicals and was heading home on my bike when it started to rain. I felt a weird burning sensation down my back so I stopped and got off the bike. My backpack and jeans were covered in foam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 517

You deserved it 403

Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 164

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 279

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 154

Same thing different taste

Locked and loaded

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