Intimacy: Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her...

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 114

You deserved it 3 640

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 6 291

Someone else

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 172

You deserved it 379

By tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 102 771

You deserved it 6 785

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 10 140

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 046

You deserved it 22 450

Purple rain, purple rain

By wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 286

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

By mrniceguy - 23/02/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 135

You deserved it 2 462

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 909

You deserved it 46 993

Dominion

By baby.momma2 - 26/11/2020 19:58

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 305

KabamWolf 22

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

I incest you go see what happend

Destinee_1 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:08

As a girl, I'm saying there is a high chance she is bull ******** that.

Comments

lionkat456 28

Wednesday 12 August 2015 5:08

I really hope she was trying on bathing suits or something.

Jake_Dee 10

Monday 21 September 2015 18:21

Well you do live in Alabama.

tigeran24 7

Tuesday 19 January 2016 6:56

*looks at location* well makes sense

Youtube_Troll 12

Wednesday 8 June 2016 2:12

Notice what state you are in... Alabama

KrazyKatz333 15

Wednesday 14 September 2016 17:29

Really really really short shorts?

lucasjames22 8

Wednesday 5 July 2017 23:25

yikes!!!

Samantha Glennie 25

Saturday 23 September 2017 19:33

Incest a game for all the family

shannon2348 14

Friday 22 November 2019 5:08

Yikes. I dont either.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 208

You deserved it 10 452

Today, after my daughter had a cast on her broken leg for 14 weeks, she got it removed this morning. She was bawling her eyes out because she never realised her leg hair would keep growing under the plaster; 14 weeks worth of growth. She didn’t cry this much back when she broke the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 11 302

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 703

You deserved it 4 681

Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one's nuts completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 854

You deserved it 9 148

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 095

You deserved it 66 989

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 824

You deserved it 52 591

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 274

You deserved it 3 713