378
By Anonymous / Sunday 18 December 2011 10:09 / Australia
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By  ShroomsOnAcid  |  15

Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.

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  kyarush  |  10

If your going to get the first comment don't make it the most stupid f****** comment of FML history.

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  kyarush  |  10

mY pH0n3 D03snt auT0 c0rr3ct oN FML Mr. know it all. Go wash YOUR mouth out with buck shot.

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  ShroomsOnAcid  |  15

It could have been a gift, a huge bottle, or a specialty moisturizer. It could also have been a medicinal one for a special condition. Cheap moisturizers use cheap and harmful ingredients. If it was an all natural one, and especially if it uses some more expensive oils and extracts, the price could run high quickly. However, that's not the point here. The point is that it's pretty much gone now.

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  Marcella1016  |  26

I think the point is, using someone else's $90 expensive shit to jack off is kind of douchey when you could've used 99 cent lotion. I mean, I'm not a guy, but I imagine it all feels the same...right? o_O

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  mozeltov  |  7

I think the real question here is why he's masterbating when he has a girlfriend. We can logically assume she keeps her legs closed thus forcing him to wank with her moisturizer, therefore, this is her fault and not his. I rest my case

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  LolFMLnot  |  10

182 maybe they just started dating. Some people don't have sex right away, they wait. You can't blame the girl because the bf is still an idiot or maybe he didn't know how much it costs.

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  bikramkohli  |  11

204 - if he's using her moisturizer for jerking off, it's safe to assume that they're either living together, or he spends lot of time at her place. I know I would NOT be carrying around a $90 moisturizer around.

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  pompousjackass  |  10

I have never heard of any medicinal moisturiser costing $90. I suffer with all sorts of horrible skin conditions all over my face and body and a whopping great tub of the stuff I use costs me about £7 (about $14). anything that pricey almost always tends to be high-end branded stuff.

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  G0v3nat0r  |  7

182- agreed, she could be pleasing her boyfriend for free. 204- I'm assuming they live together, because how would he be able to use her lotion if they didn't? If that's the case, then they had to have been dating for a while already. Which means they should be comfortable having sex

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  Steve95401  |  48

If he's your boyfriend, why does he need to wank?

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  Shrike  |  22

What are you, the 51 year old virgin? I'd expect that question from a teenager, but really? I didn't know that in your land whenever you feel horny you get to stick it in your girlfriend and use her as a sperm receptacle or some kind of sex toy. Get over it, even people with healthy sex lives wank. It's natural.

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  Shrike  |  22

Uh, don't know if you're aware, but "read between the lines" doesn't mean "make shit up" like you think it does. It says a bottle, not a basement. She'd be pissed if he did it even a few times. And your point has nothing to do with mine, even if it had actually been valid.

By  doltkid  |  3

Wow, thats a slippery situation..

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  The_Troller  |  14

4- That didn't even make sense...

By  yellowman57  |  13

Is it scented? If so I think you might have a problem.

By  ShroomsOnAcid  |  15

Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.

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  sleepRX  |  16

Yes, I agree. Keeping a proactive sexual relationship with your significant other is just as important as keeping a positive emotional relationship. On a side note: ShroomsonAcid- If I'm not mistaken, Alex Grey is the artist of your icon photo. If I am mistaken, you would be facinated by his art as well as his insight on life.

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  ShroomsOnAcid  |  15

While my comment was somewhat of a joke since it's perfectly normal to take care of yourself sometimes, what you said was completely true and I agree. Also, yes, it is Alex Grey! I was wondering if anybody would recognize it. I absolutely love his artwork.

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  sleepRX  |  16

Yes, I can see your comment as being a joke but, I agree with it. Yes, self-sex is healthy and sometimes necessary, but I believe connecting sexually with your SO could be enough for a couple if they understand each others needs to the fullest. Alex Grey helped change my perspective on life through his explanation and wisdom on the "spirit molecule". His rich understanding on, vibrating on such high frequencies, is powerful! Of course, I had to try it out myself, and I found Alex Grey to be pure truth!

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  margie2194  |  12

Yay for masturbation, sometimes my right, middle finger is my only friend (Forever alone) :(

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  ShroomsOnAcid  |  15

Damn it took me forever to get this posted. I must have sent it 3 or 4 times already. If all of them suddenly appear, you'll know why. 133- I agree, as sex can be a profoundly intense experience that leaves you satisfied for extended periods of time, but often regular daily life responsibilities can restrict its occurrence. My SO works long hours, and that coupled with my sex drive is a sure recipe for some self love. As you said, sometimes it's necessary. Thank you for suggesting I look into Alex Grey's philosophies. I haven't read about them specifically, but I certainly will now. I find the Western view of reality skewed, materialistic, and severely limited, so I'm always interested in new perspectives on the subject.

By  awthmt  |  6

"..that was..YOUR moisturizer?"

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  codyFML  |  0

You're**

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Not true! I'm a girl and even I wouldn't spend 90$ on moisturizer just because 'I like it'. I'd spend 90$ on it if I needed that particular brand though. Maybe OP needs that brand because of allergies or a skin condition. It's not necessarily a matter of 'just liking it'. Though it totally could be, lol.

By  JustinComments  |  3

No guy should have to wank if they have a girlfriend!

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  ShroomsOnAcid  |  15

Being in a relationship doesn't mean you can't get off by yourself every once in a while. Sometimes you just need to release the tension quickly and efficiently. Having to wait around until you can do that with your SO can get frustrating.

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  kikiwi_fml  |  9

#17 So true. Sometimes you just need a bit of 'you' time, guys don't apologize to themselves for finishing too early and girls can get the job done faster (in my case anyways) haha.

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  Enslaved  |  36

Ummm..../have/ to? No /want/ to?? Completely different. There's nothing wrong with appreciating ones own body. Everyone has needs and expecting someone to complete each and every one of them doesn't sound fair to either party. (as long as it doesn't interfere with the time spent together) touch away all you want. Hell even use my $90 lotion, just make sure it was worth it to you!

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