Health: Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with... - FML

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 802

You deserved it 71 718

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Same thing different taste

By ven980 - 01/06/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 840

You deserved it 29 519

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 014

You deserved it 30 856

By E or - 13/07/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 890

You deserved it 40 213

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

Classy.

By pist off - 05/03/2018 19:00

Today, I felt rain on my face. I looked up and saw a man peeing off a hot air balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 016

You deserved it 309

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 774

You deserved it 80 932

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 583

You deserved it 45 352

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 759

You deserved it 73 888

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 135

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 572

Next

Top comments

barbarajean 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:23

Thats what you get for makin out with balloon boy. Damn pedo.

Hannalea_fml 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:23

Someone needs a life.

Comments

misswallflower 8

Saturday 5 October 2013 22:52

Are you okay at least?? I read somewhere that it's extremely hard to get a balloon out if its been lodged far enough back.

Narttu 20

Tuesday 15 October 2013 13:29

Genius.

LyricaSilvan 29

Wednesday 25 February 2015 16:39

Oh, god...

Mortoli 30

Saturday 4 July 2015 9:21

lol wow op gettin a little desperate there arent you man?

gatorgirl7563 22

Friday 22 January 2016 1:41

You shouldn't have used teeth! Are you alright after choking on the balloon??? That sounds more than a little horrible to experience and is something that actually has the potential to kill you. You okay, OP?

cuddlycactus 11

Wednesday 17 May 2017 1:16

Next time try a pillow, or something that is not prone to explode

FFAce 11

Tuesday 15 May 2018 0:00

Perma virgins be like

Elisabetha Aarron 18

Wednesday 12 August 2020 23:54

Wow how did you not think the balloon would pop. Like wow.

randybryant799 20

Thursday 13 January 2022 4:37

God I hope you're only like 12. If not then....yikes!!

wrenavery90 12

Friday 26 August 2022 0:57

God I hope you're like 12. If not.....

Keywords

Awkward Poopoo peepee Work Fish Food Camping Miscellaneous Health Holidays Vegan Ableism Gamers Geek Video games Love Parents Relatable Painful Annoying Mental health Customers Tattoos Accident Transportation Motorbike Bikes Art Concert Money Kids

The Top

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 208

You deserved it 6 062

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my son's third grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my fifth story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 728

You deserved it 15 829

The Top

Today, after spending $120 to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my mom, she called to complain that I had forgotten about her for Mother's day, but also praise my sister for apparently receiving my flowers I sent at the door and passing them off as hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 916

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 283

Today, my boyfriend went to get coffee with a friend. As a joke, I texted him to ask how his date with his other girlfriend was going. It really was a date, and apparently it went very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 193

Today, three days before their rent was due, my fiancé's friends moved out of our basement without saying a word to us. On their way out, they took an envelope from my locked desk with $800 in it that was for our wedding in six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 285

You deserved it 307

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 197

You deserved it 4 158

Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 721