Miscellaneous: Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 983

You deserved it 12 592

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 655

You deserved it 4 986

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 103

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 25/09/2015 20:14 - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 560

You deserved it 2 510

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 634

You deserved it 3 676

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 357

You deserved it 5 211

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 401

You deserved it 5 958

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 228

You deserved it 10 954

Secret sex

By anonymous - 01/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 456

Woah

By Hopeless - 04/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 556

You deserved it 283

LuckyLogic 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:00

Did you drink tiger blood?

Bill3485 3

Monday 25 April 2011 9:05

fyl? no way, your life is #winning!

Comments

HeaRTs_Girl 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:40

>_< I feel like I'm on a Charlie Sheen rant. O_o

JennaChan2764 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:08

Lol maybe u are XD

reepjake 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:42

bi winning

cin11 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:42

just a dream .. it could've been worse

LolaD18 1

Monday 25 April 2011 10:51

http://alltimeslash.livejournal.com/1073250.html#cutid1

JennaChan2764 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:05

Dude im pretty sure its Charlie Scene....Lol whatever

JennaChan2764 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:17

Wait nvm idk im not thinking o_o

BWill9014 4

Monday 25 April 2011 14:03

Lolwut

meegsiiee 5

Monday 25 April 2011 11:05

Wdf??? Big deal....

madman01 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:08

he might teach you how to win.

G_thelegend 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:19

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

dirtyblond 4

Monday 25 April 2011 11:25

Hell nahh, that's not creepy. Well at least for me it isn't!;D

ChantelRenaeee 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:42

yeah, i would be pretty scared.:/

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Jewelry Awkward Fight Kids Family Love Students Relatable Work Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

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I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 86

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You deserved it 159

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 92

Today, Social Security is docking my benefits because I have a job. That's normal… Except I haven't had a job since November 2023. After my old boss left, she was replaced by an ableist prick who fired me as soon as he realized that I'm disabled. No matter what I do, they refuse to believe me. Help? FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 86

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 802

You deserved it 3 241

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 447

You deserved it 3 073

Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 396

Today, the cat was screaming for canned food. To save the ears of everyone in the house, I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped the lid, it squirted stinky cat-food gravy all over my shirt. When I tried to remove the shirt, it all went inside my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 772

You deserved it 1 486

Same thing different taste

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

Night terrors

Secret sex

Woah

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