Intimacy: Secret sex - FML

Secret sex

By anonymous - 01/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 456

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 16/05/2014 21:07 - United States

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 410

You deserved it 10 001

By Anonymous - 12/04/2019 20:00

Today, I dreamt I had a secret admirer whom I met in person. She had red hair, a plus size body and a beautiful smile. This would've been great if it weren't for the fact I was a straight woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 380

By ac19k - 22/03/2016 02:34 - United States - Franklin

Today, I kept having dreams that I had made drunken snapchats. Those weren't just dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 322

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 028

You deserved it 9 024

By slickrick22 - 27/02/2012 02:43 - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 579

You deserved it 3 931

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 634

You deserved it 3 676

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 154

By Cake Dreams - 08/10/2018 22:15

Today, I had a dream wherein a deep, sensual voice was talking sexy to me. "Yeah girl, you want this. Mmm." It wasn't the man of my dreams trying to seduce me. It was a piece of chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 010

You deserved it 536

Next

Top comments

Sagar Nair 11

Sunday 1 December 2019 16:37

So....was it a magical experience?

QueenSaru 28

Sunday 1 December 2019 18:06

I mean, if it was Jude Law era Dumbledore, no one blames you.

Comments

Sagar Nair 11

Sunday 1 December 2019 16:37

So....was it a magical experience?

adjwejaelwkdc 21

Sunday 1 December 2019 17:04

The wording is confusing. Did you have sex with Dumbledore more than once during a single dream, or did you have several separate dreams about sex with Dumbledore? Neither one is really an FML or a YDI. It's just a thing. Are you afraid that you're secretly turned on by older bearded men? Sex dreams aren't always sexy or titillating. If older bearded men turn you on, you would already know about it. And if they do, what's the big deal in it? Your personal turn-ons are your personal turn-ons. So what?

dozyrosy 1

Saturday 7 December 2019 6:07

they're probably just grossed out man

QueenSaru 28

Sunday 1 December 2019 18:06

I mean, if it was Jude Law era Dumbledore, no one blames you.

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 1 December 2019 22:13

With the young or old Dumbledore?

mfranks19891989 10

Monday 2 December 2019 3:18

Oh so it was you that killed him and not snape

LP13413 8

Monday 2 December 2019 4:46

Did he use his Elder Wand on you?

Mathalamus 24

Monday 2 December 2019 18:23

Well, that took a left turn.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Wednesday 4 December 2019 2:22

You "Potterheads" are a bunch of freaks.

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 6 December 2019 10:03

you shall not pass!!

Adam Scully 7

Thursday 12 December 2019 2:14

Ten points to Gryffindor!!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 70

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 440

You deserved it 70 344

Today, I was arguing with my fiancée, having the same argument I had with my ex wife. “Why should I get off early for the kids?”, “Why can’t you do it?” Because I’d forfeit $200 per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 637

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 792

You deserved it 2 994

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 3 517

Today, I found out why the temps were not invited to the company Christmas party. The company paid for the regular employees to go to a nice restaurant, gave them nice presents, and handed out substantial bonuses. They keep telling me they can't hire me on because the company can't afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 332

You deserved it 802

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 107