Intimacy: Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 587

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Same thing different taste

MY EYES

By bleach bleach bleach - 22/12/2013 17:22 - United States - Las Vegas

Spicy

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 824

You deserved it 7 743

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 112

You deserved it 3 790

It's sus to us

By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 845

You deserved it 4 744

Better safe

By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 668

You deserved it 9 353

By cameltoeyourface - 26/07/2010 00:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 931

You deserved it 10 393

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Spicy

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 201

You deserved it 422

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 3 044

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 4 942

Wait for me!

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Marshfield

Spicy

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 120

By LondonKitsch - 26/06/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 29 760

Next

Top comments

saintsrocksocks 10

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:01

Well somebody has to do it if you won't.

ChefPhilly 13

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:03

Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...

Comments

SoultheWolf 19

Saturday 4 August 2012 3:42

Your husband is a moron, the only way to do that is if you're double jointed or missing some ribs. I would start giving him really crappy bjs and bite it just to piss him off for that.

kristasanchez17 2

Saturday 4 August 2012 5:39

He is a keeper lol

larouche362 10

Saturday 4 August 2012 19:58

One word. Horny... but think of the alien guy meme the one with the hair that rises every year but whatever off topic.

superswagger13 2

Saturday 4 August 2012 21:23

Your husband is gay. Any man who wants any dick anywhere near his mouth will soon be taking it up the butt.

bmitchell2010 1

Sunday 5 August 2012 8:08

You must be doing something wrong.

Mandi6277 5

Sunday 5 August 2012 11:43

L

Sarita46 3

Sunday 5 August 2012 23:19

That's way too funny though sucks XD

zoomrascal33 2

Wednesday 22 August 2012 19:24

Haha sexy rawr

PurpleDemigod 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 10:49

The American dream.

khildebrand2294 9

Tuesday 28 August 2012 4:49

Learn to blow him better!! Clearly you're not doing the good job u thought u were!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Family Racism Kids Love AITA Cheating Work Break-ups Cute Cats Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 4 248

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 339

You deserved it 7 901

The Top

Today, I was promised that I wouldn't have to work late because I had tomorrow off for my birthday. My coworkers decided that none of them want to work late, and that I could do it. So I am stuck working late and have to come in on my birthday, which I had requested off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 233

You deserved it 217

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 093

You deserved it 5 860

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 244

You deserved it 4 800

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 327

You deserved it 4 228

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 148

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 526

You deserved it 5 741