Intimacy: Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 587

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Same thing different taste

MY EYES

By bleach bleach bleach - 22/12/2013 17:22 - United States - Las Vegas

Spicy

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 824

You deserved it 7 743

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 112

You deserved it 3 790

It's sus to us

By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 845

You deserved it 4 744

Better safe

By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 668

You deserved it 9 353

By cameltoeyourface - 26/07/2010 00:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 931

You deserved it 10 393

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Spicy

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 201

You deserved it 422

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 3 044

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 4 942

Wait for me!

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Marshfield

Spicy

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 120

By LondonKitsch - 26/06/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 29 760

Next

Top comments

saintsrocksocks 10

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:01

Well somebody has to do it if you won't.

ChefPhilly 13

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:03

Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...

Comments

1gullible_bugger 33

Saturday 2 June 2018 3:48

Everyone's got a dream. Lol

J15237 25

Thursday 9 January 2020 19:18

In a sense its better then him finding some other woman to do it. I am not bitching at you if you don't. I mean some people just dont want to give oral sex. However, he isnt cheating on you. A bit weird, but could be worse. You could have caught him getting sucked off by the yoga instructor.

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The Top

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 137

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 4 713

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 094

You deserved it 5 181

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 544

You deserved it 15 931

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 054

You deserved it 5 466

Today, honestly, I feel like my life has lost meaning. At some certain point I have lost all emotion and am just covering myself with a mask of happiness. It feels like I’m just trying to escape my own reality, with my parents on the verge of divorce. Somewhere in the last few months it’s been getting worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 124

Today, I had a really important meeting for my career. The guy I was supposed to be meeting was driving from across the state, and it was supposed to begin at noon. It's now 4. What if I leave and he shows up after having driven across the state? I don't dare move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 168