Intimacy: Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone...

By anonymous - 27/03/2013 23:55 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 155

You deserved it 9 252

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Same thing different taste

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 50 972

Doubling down

By omgitserika - 18/11/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 178

You deserved it 71 233

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 759

You deserved it 5 146

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 6 424

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 776

You deserved it 588

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 371

Who's that?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 05:01

Today, after waking up beside my girlfriend to get ready to go to work, I leaned down to kiss her while she was still asleep, and she said, "Have a good day Jake." My name starts with a J, but it's not Jake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 111

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 337

You deserved it 3 444

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 462

You deserved it 36 460

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 316

ThatOneDrummer 8

Thursday 28 March 2013 9:59

So he's either cheating on you with a woman, a man, or he's just really enthusiastic about car insurance.

boofgall 16

Thursday 28 March 2013 10:00

"And he's making you hard?"

Comments

angeluv_2014 22

Friday 29 March 2013 6:01

Did you ask what he was wearing?

forlifebro 15

Friday 29 March 2013 6:04

Wow this will be the cheating husbands excuse for years to come

itsallbullshit 4

Friday 29 March 2013 7:45

YDI for being in a relationship.

jordannax0 6

Friday 29 March 2013 8:24

LOL

LUFT 12

Friday 29 March 2013 8:45

Funny and unfortunate :/

Fooey_214 12

Friday 29 March 2013 10:34

LMFAO!

Iceman226 17

Friday 29 March 2013 15:19

Best response ever!!! I would assume you were very angry with him, but did you laugh just a little inside when he said that?

BaronVonSteuben 5

Friday 29 March 2013 20:37

Hmmm. . . I'm not sure it WAS Jake from State Farm. . .

IsRaeliPrinCess 8

Saturday 30 March 2013 0:30

I wouldn't know whether to laugh or kill him..

SquidInTheSky99 19

Saturday 30 March 2013 1:51

I'm sorry, but this is the funniest thing ever.

Keywords

OCD Health Relatable Mental health Work Awkward Friends Vacation Boredom Music Transportation Annoying Jewelry Love AITA Embarrassing Cars Family Babysitter Kids Parents Miscellaneous Death Money Thief Food Birthday Farts Gross Underwear

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