Intimacy: Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob...

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:59 - India - New Delhi

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 212

You deserved it 42 491

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 4 791

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 668

You deserved it 11 925

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 094

You deserved it 44 810

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 3 264

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 847

You deserved it 15 882

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 064

You deserved it 49 534

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 3 247

Late bloomer

By Forever Lonely - 13/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Centurion

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 237

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 063

You deserved it 63 996

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 51 887

anniemeece 23

Saturday 9 May 2015 9:07

Maybe not so 100%?

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 9 May 2015 9:07

I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...

Comments

shinigami88 11

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:30

sounds like you had a gay old time

ghostriley 14

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:30

When your drunk shit happens

gearhead369 20

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:38

I don't think you are 100% heterosexual at all. Sounds like you need to figure that out

gasOburt 1

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:53

Well whatever you are, it's totally cool, but you definitely aren't 100% hetro.

zr11990 8

Saturday 9 May 2015 15:08

That is disgusting. No one gets that drunk. Alcohol just lets you do what you really want to do.

Koolaidandtacos 21

Saturday 9 May 2015 15:11

Could have been worse. Like you ending up getting your anus penetrated.

Drosophila82 18

Saturday 9 May 2015 15:14

There's a little gay in all of us. Don't linger on it too much.

opps3552 9

Saturday 9 May 2015 15:18

Not anymore

tomorrow89 13

Saturday 9 May 2015 15:38

More like...42% heterosexual now...

rec_chem 22

Saturday 9 May 2015 15:39

You can keep telling yourself that you're not gay, but that won't make it so.

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family AITA Kids Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 2 749

Today, I kicked my partner of 8 years out after confirming she was indeed going speed dating while keeping me occupied, going to couples' therapy, and doing work on our rental property. All a ruse. She's a tricky one, my EX missus. Nah bitch, nah. Take the lies elsewhere and we're flushing all these years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 127

Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 922

You deserved it 345

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 8 324

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 485

You deserved it 32 197

Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 135

Same thing different taste

Party hard

Late bloomer

Top comments

Comments