Intimacy: Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:59 - India - New Delhi

Spicy

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 212

You deserved it 42 491

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 4 791

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 668

You deserved it 11 925

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 094

You deserved it 44 810

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 3 264

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 847

You deserved it 15 882

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 064

You deserved it 49 534

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 3 247

Late bloomer

By Forever Lonely - 13/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Centurion

Spicy

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 237

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 063

You deserved it 63 996

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 51 887

Next

Top comments

anniemeece 23

Saturday 9 May 2015 9:07

Maybe not so 100%?

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 9 May 2015 9:07

I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...

Comments

MeltedMango 8

Saturday 9 May 2015 13:35

Still a better love story than Twilight.

RealSuperSand 21

Saturday 9 May 2015 13:39

I've gotten so drunk before I couldn't even remember my own name, and I've never once blown or even had the urge to blow another guy, and I wouldn't even classify myself as 100% straight, I don't think anyone is really, especially not you op, not after last night anyway. Nothing wrong with it though man, the gay and bisexual community is awesome. Hell if you're bisexual it only doubles your chances of getting laid!

sjhill 32

Saturday 9 May 2015 13:42

"Hold my beer"

Clinky92 18

Saturday 9 May 2015 13:48

Y'know what they say, alcohol brings out your true self haha

thedood 8

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:02

I have bad news for you.

Anonypus 20

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:03

Are you 100% sure you were blind drunk?

mattrd_fml 31

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:03

alcohol = truth elixir

vikky538 28

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:20

How did you not figure out the difference between a ****** and a dick? I never seen a person blind drunk to be not able to distinguish peoples gender.

mishwarner 14

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:21

You are not

emi_alejandra 23

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:27

More like a 60% now

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Family Relatable Racism Love Kids AITA Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 552

Today, my boyfriend proposed with the biggest, tackiest, most Geordie Shore-style ring I’ve ever seen. I said yes because I love him, but this thing is twice as wide as my finger and just looks horrible compared to the solitaire ring I told him I really liked. I’m embarrassed to be seen wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 501

The Top

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 116

You deserved it 7 604

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 3 364

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 227

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 334

You deserved it 2 577

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 139

You deserved it 23 959

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 308

You deserved it 2 425