Work: Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was...

By S to the HIT - 08/04/2015 16:08 - United States

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 877

You deserved it 35 838

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Notpunny - 18/04/2016 22:58 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 186

You deserved it 7 842

By Foot In Mouth - 05/02/2009 22:56 - United States

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 216

You deserved it 36 447

By derbyboy - 19/10/2011 05:38 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 141

You deserved it 22 089

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 13:01

Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "so Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 203

By kevcng - 10/09/2012 21:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 718

You deserved it 7 987

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 896

You deserved it 3 910

By LadyChristina25 - 05/06/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 571

You deserved it 81 741

By fucking har har, dad - 05/10/2012 23:38 - Australia

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 2 375

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 800

You deserved it 2 648

I didn't request this

By not a boy toy - 31/03/2017 22:00

Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 602

You deserved it 725

rachelottavia 16

Thursday 9 April 2015 0:11

I feel really bad for the person who lost his leg and was telling the story. To see someone fall asleep while recounting something that traumatizing probably hurt even more

oobergoober89 16

Thursday 9 April 2015 0:10

You kinda deserve it

Comments

Glasshoney 9

Thursday 9 April 2015 15:17

BAHAHA ??? This made me bust out laughing so loud! Thanks for sharing!

Eloxia 7

Thursday 9 April 2015 16:40

Hopefully you're in this support group because you have narcolepsy and need to discuss the problems of falling asleep at the wrong time.

Exsequor 14

Thursday 9 April 2015 21:31

This is the first FML I actually laughed out loud at. I'm sure you feel awful but that's hilarious

bgon1350 4

Friday 10 April 2015 0:55

now remove the foot from your mouth and give him back his leg

James12345678910 6

Friday 10 April 2015 2:16

You are gonna go far in life! ?

CaptainBlack 18

Friday 10 April 2015 4:06

You're going to be a terrific father some day if you keep it up with the dad jokes.

malachite1357 11

Friday 10 April 2015 22:30

This is sad. I say, FML for the poor people who were in the group. If you don't want to be in this "boring" support group because it interferes with your nap please do not come because there are people who need it more, or please try not to fall asleep, for the respect of others. I just do not think this is fair to everyone else that was there, especially the man who lost his leg. Sorry, had to put that out there.

rexey83 8

Saturday 11 April 2015 1:59

Did he ever find it?

NutellaBear 3

Saturday 11 April 2015 9:05

Bravo! Well done! The main result though is you probably came off as an airhead. I hope you did pardon yourself privately to the guy however. Depending upon past events, you could have always claimed that you are at the support group because your therapist has determined you lack empathy.....