Intimacy: TMI

TMI

By ew. - 17/08/2010 04:28 - Canada

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 282

You deserved it 4 857

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 465

You deserved it 3 084

Nice to know

By Gemma - 06/01/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 722

You deserved it 3 075

How? Why?

By bloody_hell - 15/01/2015 02:18 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 5 237

By Ihatebuses - 14/06/2018 19:00

Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 879

You deserved it 329

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 15:48 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 720

You deserved it 10 729

Thanks for the memories

By Mike - 07/02/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disney World. Monday, I take a class trip to Disney World. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 717

You deserved it 5 280

Judgemental

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 510

You deserved it 7 838

Smooth delivery

By Evol1nOC - 11/01/2022 22:59

Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 18:15 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 200

You deserved it 3 006

Splish splash

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 712

You deserved it 7 977

Timmo_fml 2

Tuesday 17 August 2010 12:06

As opposed to a private bus? Guess that would be a car actually.

mrbattleman 10

Tuesday 17 August 2010 12:21

I just know that somewhere on that bus, there was a very happy homeless man masterbating to that

Comments

sports_chic 6

Tuesday 17 August 2010 12:37

ahaha but I wouldn't want to no

PhunkyFreshh 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 12:52

can't be that bad;)

queenjr 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 13:04

damn!!

hannah1203 2

Tuesday 17 August 2010 13:24

This is funny, but I think it's worse that I was conceived at Taco Bell :(

Star16 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 13:26

ha, road block maybe?

sankagirl36 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 13:43

why r u asking ur parents about where u were conceived in the first place!!

Flameklr 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 14:02

lmfao your parents had bus sex xD

yagurlteeteexoxo 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 14:12

Not a big deal get over it OP... don't get why this is an FML.

SoCoMagNuM 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 14:14

i dont see how people responded "you deserved it" no one asked to be conceived lol. just kinda happens.

lickmyjock 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 14:22

lol bus sex? lord I hope it wasn't the CTA in Chicago.

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The Top

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 72

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 696

You deserved it 2 107

The Top

Today, I'm gonna have to make the very difficult decision to ask my roommate to get rid of his dogs. They're not only the most disobedient little shits I've ever known, but they're also terrifying my cats. My oldest cat, who has always been pretty chill, quiet, and independent, is now vocal, clingy and nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 276

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I was "angry" at him. I was angry because last night he turned off his phone and left me locked out of the Airbnb that I had paid for. Until 3 am. In a foreign country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 015

You deserved it 398

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 161

You deserved it 3 826

Today, I came home from work early due to a massive headache. A half hour later, the jackhammering started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 75

Today, we had the cops called on us because my son was panicking so much about his first COVID jab, his older sister got fed up, took him outside, put him in a headlock and choked him unconscious so the nurse could jab him. Instead, the nurse called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 244

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 456

You deserved it 4 654

TMI