The great pretender

By abbielane - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Rochester

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 558
You deserved it 3 900

Top comments

She obviously needs a lot more rest due to "sleepwalking". Her new bedtime should be 7, just to make sure.

wow. if i was caught sneaking out of the house, the LAST thing i would do is punch one of my parents in the face, unless i wanted to die...

Comments

IsAbElLiCiA20 6

You gotta hand it to her, at least she quickly tried to cover her own ass by using the old "I was sleepwalking" excuse. Be glad she's still safe and sound, and now probably grounded, and not out trying to be the next Teen Mom star!

IsAbElLiCiA20 6

You gotta hand it to her, at least she tried to quickly cover her own ass using the old "I was sleepwalking" excuse. Be glad she's safe and sound, and now probably grounded, and not out with the possibility of being the star of another 16 and Pregnant episode!

Haha she's a quick thinker. I like that xD but i'd still ground her ass for trying to sneak out. She could have gotten into trouble.

It should be grounded for trying to sneak out AND for punching OP. Not just sneaking out

mylifesucks_fml 1

GET AN ALARM SYSTEM! those things are annoying as hell when people open and close doors or windows while it's on. there's no way to sneak out. and this is coming from a teen.

42 Why would you try and hold back your own kind like that? We teens are supposed to stick together dude

RedPillSucks 31

Because teens think with their hormones instead of their brains

42 I despise my alarm system. And 58 take your stereotyping ass somewhere else

Huh, all you people mentioning alarm systems and the need to sneak out. Maybe I had it easier than I thought. I can't think of a single time my parents didn't let me go out somewhere. They were just glad I wasn't sitting on the computer =P

43- I'm a teen and I hate most other teens, why would I want them to prosper.

74 - my mother was the same. Then again I spent most of my nights working. I agree with the alarm system. My brother was a JD and whenever he opened a door or window at night the alarm would scream, Mom and I would both wake up, and he'd be in shit yet again. Kept him from being arrested for YEARS. Then he learned the code and our little scheme was ruined.

tjv3 10

You gotta give her credit for thinking quickly . After you do ground her ass and put her on lock down

Most sleep walkers are violent when you wake them up while they are still sleep walking. But it's probably just an excuse lol.

TayonaC 10

My mom would have blacked out and "accidentally" put me in a head lock and punched me in the throat. She's lucky to be alive...

She probably was, and you just ruined her wonderful sleep.

xoconnie 8

Maybe, but still no excuse to punch him in the face man.

60- Well sleep walking can pose as a threat. If she WAS sleep walking, she could have in fact pushed him in the face.

OPs fault, never wake someone up from sleep walking. Step Brothers should have taught you that

I was sleepwalking once, and locked myself out of the house, so it's possible she was sleepwalking.

I was sleepwalking once, and I ended up peeing on my brand new bike FML.

Because when people sleepwalk they also usually get dressed up first, right? Use that and you win!

Sleepwalkers often act like a person who is awake, and would get dressed.

toenibbler 14

That isn't necessarily true. Some people just get out of bed and walk around, so if the sleepwalker sleeps in their birthday suit then someone is going to get the shock of their lives.

I know a lot of teens that sleep in their clothes. Too lazy to change after hours of gaming.

27-I bet you shower naked too you filthy *****! >:o

minus20 4

Once again you have made a fantastic comment and that's why I love you

Shadowvoid 33

She obviously needs a lot more rest due to "sleepwalking". Her new bedtime should be 7, just to make sure.

piercyn 5

which is why you need to lock her room because you want to "make sure she doesn't stumble out while sleepwalking" >:)

OhDearBetrayal 25

If she has a window it could make it easier for her to sneak out. Though this is assuming that her room is on the first floor and that if she has a room higher than ground level she has a sweet tree like Tom Sawyer to climb down from.

Link5794 18

Sleep climbing? What's next, sleep texting? Sleep socializing? Sleep gaming? Sleep sex? That'll be one crazy statutory rape case.

wow. if i was caught sneaking out of the house, the LAST thing i would do is punch one of my parents in the face, unless i wanted to die...

Parents go way too easy on their kids now. They bitch and put it on fml now

SystemofaBlink41 27

22- i agree, if that were my dad he'd beat my ass till I walked funny

jgoodz 3

36- yeah if I punched my dad in the face he would beat me till I was blue and purple, which would be a lot because I'm black.

ChickInGreenVans 12

Perusing the compound for excapees? Just a guess.

Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH 7

Op's daughter may have made a bunch of noise and woke OP up.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

That would be relevant if she was in fact sleepwalking..

There needs to be a specific font allocated to sarcasm.

To be fair, I'm generally pretty good at catching sarcasm, and I wasn't able to catch it on this one. Sometimes I don't have much faith in the internet community. ;)

sparklecherry 4
RedPillSucks 31

Apparently, the answer is "yes".

Im sorry but.. Lol... 'stupider'. :D

Could I be any "stupider"? Yes. I could say stupider and then be more stupid.

Should've tripped her. And when she 'wakes' up ground her ass.

Unbweavable 17

Should've punched her back & said "omg honey I thought you were a robber" then ground her ass

Your idea is way better than mine lol.

KiddNYC1O 20

She could also do both. Trip her, punch her and then ground her.