Kids, Awkward and Work: Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 517

You deserved it 6 056

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Same thing different taste

By GT716 - 07/04/2009 12:50 - United States

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 13 931

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 891

You deserved it 9 068

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 113

You deserved it 2 086

By John W. - 12/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 639

You deserved it 47 028

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 144

You deserved it 4 920

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Bedminster

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 406

You deserved it 4 327

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 062

You deserved it 46 104

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 616

You deserved it 5 062

By daddy'sgirl - 21/06/2012 04:11 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 184

You deserved it 75 432

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 189

You deserved it 7 128

Jaywin 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

That's when you say "Too late and I ****** your mom in high school" and continue with your presentation.

stargirl14 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

well the kid already sounds like a douchebag to me lol

Comments

ohhboyy 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:14

LMFAO! owned by little kids

ryguy997 0

Monday 12 April 2010 3:29

then you cooked him and served him as to his parents, right?

FweakofCydonia 40

Sunday 17 January 2016 23:42

Easy there, Hannibal Lecter!

Kozzy333 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:15

Owned. That kid probably got in tons of shit.

stargirl14 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

well the kid already sounds like a douchebag to me lol

Kamon97 23

Monday 7 October 2013 19:49

Lol if I was that kid and someone ripped on my mom like that I woulda flattened him in front of the whole classroom no problem. :p

Jaywin 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

That's when you say "Too late and I ****** your mom in high school" and continue with your presentation.

Nutz321 0

Friday 24 September 2010 8:00

LOL

FMLbutYDI 17

Friday 21 June 2013 3:26

OP is a girl...

teentee401 36

Saturday 28 June 2014 6:42

Who says she's straight?

xTc_JEWboy 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:17

hahahahahahahaha jew

mjsmclaren 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:18

smart kid, he knows a douche when he sees one

steinway 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:18

i'd slap the kid in the mouth

james098 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:18

smack the prick with one of your many large spoons

popo6484 3

Sunday 26 August 2012 5:30

Spoon too easy fork or knife

g_m_j 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:19

ouch but its still funny

xlunabella 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:20

that was really rude, If that was me I'd drop kick that kid. :|

Keywords

Love Dreams Jealousy Video games Gamers Geek AITA Family Parents Kids Relatable Gun control Animals Amazon Money Annoying Cute Birthday Health Weird Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media Mysterious Friends Miscellaneous Education School Teenagers

The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 101

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 16 950

The Top

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 832

You deserved it 4 850

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 263

Today, it was my dad's 60th. I was planning on calling him early, but due to a client (I'm a social worker) ending up in hospital because her husband beat her up, I couldn't call him until 2:30. My mum phoned me in tears, yelling that I was a bad daughter and obviously didn't care about my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 940

You deserved it 732

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 686

You deserved it 37 767

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 512

You deserved it 4 174

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 019

You deserved it 30 637

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Same thing different taste

Goals!

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