Kids, Awkward and Work: Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 518

You deserved it 6 056

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Same thing different taste

By GT716 - 07/04/2009 12:50 - United States

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 021

You deserved it 13 931

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 891

You deserved it 9 069

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 114

You deserved it 2 086

By John W. - 12/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 639

You deserved it 47 029

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 144

You deserved it 4 921

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Bedminster

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 406

You deserved it 4 327

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 062

You deserved it 46 104

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 616

You deserved it 5 062

By daddy'sgirl - 21/06/2012 04:11 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 184

You deserved it 75 433

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 189

You deserved it 7 128

Jaywin 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

That's when you say "Too late and I ****** your mom in high school" and continue with your presentation.

stargirl14 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

well the kid already sounds like a douchebag to me lol

Comments

jmf86 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:10

Chef Ramsey, is that you?

Melodyfire 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:15

kids say the darndest things!

skatetwin5 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:16

that's awful!

JennyFromtheBloc_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:16

i ment 31 srry 41

Jaywin 3

Friday 24 April 2009 0:16

#42 that was awesome lol

OMGoriginality 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:18

@ #4: ROFL I so agree!

fmlbeast 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:19

Kids are stupid runts that need to get their ass beat so they can learn some manners.

obstaclenumber1 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:23

sounds like BS to me.

idaniboy 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:25

lmfao

KeithHarris 0

Friday 24 April 2009 0:25

That's friggin hilarious! I think you just got owned. Maybe try being less of a doucebag next time :-D

Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relationship advice Relatable Mental health Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 855

You deserved it 6 042

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Today, I have to pretend like I don’t have feelings for a friend I've know for over 10 years. I have to pretend that my heart isn’t breaking into a million pieces thinking about him with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 468

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 954

You deserved it 5 041

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 2 775

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 289

You deserved it 4 609

Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 732

You deserved it 1 222

Today, it's my soon to be 12 year-old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 5 144

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Same thing different taste

Goals!

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