Roommate, Students, Fire and Miscellaneous: Student life

Student life

By gofixmyhead - 30/08/2011 14:53 - United Kingdom

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 133

You deserved it 3 998

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Same thing different taste

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 9 851

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 294

You deserved it 5 899

Masterchef

By Uh-SLEEP - 11/12/2020 03:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 76

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 481

You deserved it 6 937

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 561

By Anonymous - 23/01/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 3 262

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 766

You deserved it 363

By dangit - 11/09/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 037

You deserved it 14 244

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 600

You deserved it 8 665

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 002

You deserved it 48 787

iAmScrubs 19

Tuesday 30 August 2011 19:00

Call for backup. We can not let this sorry excuse for a dried-up grape get away with a crime like this.

Fruit_Dealer 9

Tuesday 30 August 2011 19:41

I heard the rate of suicide bombing on toatsers are raisin' these days.

Comments

rottentomatoes 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:46

It was probably a bit 'pre' damaged by the crap your friends put in it.

Babyseal420 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:51

I agree, your life sucks.

Silence129 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:59

Made in china

aimeesea75 16

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:00

RAISINS

writergirl23 19

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:15

It wasn't u who destroyed it it was them OP

rexgar2000 10

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:29

I think you were trying to say "while drunk"

zombifysara 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:26

OP's from the UK - she said exactly what she was trying to say. Whilst drunk is normal there, get a clue.

powderbluetang 11

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:49

I really cannot figure out what this FML is about.

Wynthos 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 2:32

Care to simplify this post? I have no idea wtf is goin on.

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:22

Watch out for those raisins! They're tricky

icic6772 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:38

No offense but I have no idea what u just said

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 478

You deserved it 3 719

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 4 300

The Top

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 488

You deserved it 2 522

Today, I took a nap while babysitting my neighbor's kids for the day. I was woken up by an obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair stuck down in his shorts, jumping around like a horse. Oh, and a semi-bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 568

You deserved it 60 223

Today, my parents lectured me about the importance of family, and how forgiveness is necessary. This came after I stopped speaking to my sister. I cut her out of my life after she slept with a second boyfriend of mine. Apparently, it’s up to me to "be the bigger person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 173

Today, I have to pay a $20 customs fee on the replacement charging cord for my tablet pen, bringing the total up to $60 I’ve paid for this $4 cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 297

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 564

You deserved it 4 192

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 3 148