Roommate, Students, Fire and Miscellaneous: Student life

Student life

By gofixmyhead - 30/08/2011 14:53 - United Kingdom

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 133

You deserved it 3 998

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Same thing different taste

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 9 851

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 294

You deserved it 5 899

Masterchef

By Uh-SLEEP - 11/12/2020 03:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 76

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 481

You deserved it 6 937

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 561

By Anonymous - 23/01/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 3 262

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 766

You deserved it 363

By dangit - 11/09/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 037

You deserved it 14 244

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 600

You deserved it 8 665

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 002

You deserved it 48 787

iAmScrubs 19

Tuesday 30 August 2011 19:00

Call for backup. We can not let this sorry excuse for a dried-up grape get away with a crime like this.

Fruit_Dealer 9

Tuesday 30 August 2011 19:41

I heard the rate of suicide bombing on toatsers are raisin' these days.

Comments

StarWolf111 21

Monday 7 November 2011 4:26

Hehe, crumpets and teacakes xD

stevert_fml 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 20:50

You deserve it you ******* British fag! It's called an apartment!

Honda288 2

Monday 13 February 2012 5:06

Maybe their dumb assed act broke the toaster, but in their drunken stupor they didn't notice. Might not have been your fault.

hopetaci831 7

Thursday 7 February 2013 17:29

You sound sooo British!

MatsumotoMania 13

Friday 1 March 2013 4:42

Straw, meet camel's back.

mets300 8

Friday 15 November 2013 6:19

This is the most British thing I've ever read

Decepticus 5

Saturday 13 September 2014 11:46

"Our toaster got taken out by a raisin." Best statement ever, in my opinion :) Sorry about your toaster, OP.

Spiderwithaman 6

Thursday 13 November 2014 22:28

This could not have sounded more British.

tuxedoandex 28

Wednesday 15 April 2015 5:05

holy shit

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 293

The Top

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 885

You deserved it 6 112

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 315

You deserved it 6 345

Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 198

You deserved it 1 705

Today, my mom told me how happy she is that I'm living with her. No wait, that was a month ago. Now she tells me it’s “bad timing” that I'm living with her while she potentially has a new boyfriend, because things like me demanding that people tidy up after themselves might upset him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 128

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 816

You deserved it 4 600

Today, I'd never quite realised how nasty my girlfriend was until she hit a kid on a zebra crossing and was more upset that her bumper was dented than the fact an 8 year-old had a broken leg. She was still blaming the kid and demanding his parents pay the damage as he was being put in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 208