Intimacy: Smooth criminal

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 520

You deserved it 6 235

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By RBergman - 25/04/2015 20:05 - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 797

You deserved it 3 360

Caught

By fuck - 09/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 405

You deserved it 5 276

By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - 10/03/2013 18:50 - Cyprus - Strovolos

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 737

You deserved it 4 860

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 742

You deserved it 5 661

By Inga44 - 23/07/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 578

You deserved it 3 702

Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 821

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 890

You deserved it 4 382

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 627

You deserved it 5 904

Bad boys bad boys

By addie - 03/03/2013 08:27 - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 3 068

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 897

tooGee24 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:31

he was in a hard situation can't blame him for it

jay4who7 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:06

nice,but it's kinda hard to talk you're way out of that one!

Comments

porter12 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:34

pay his bail. your fault, he wouldn't need to ********** if you put out for him

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:55

Unless he has a psychiatric condition.

gawddddd 3

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:09

porter12-Is your first name Hamilton? Like in The Sandlot?(: Haha

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:01

hob knocker!!

amber2981 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:08

lol I would have left him there

chocolatejuggalo 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:21

WIN.

verrronica 7

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:26

lmao. paul ruebens.

krisztian_fml 7

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:40

thats what you get for not satisfying him

mountiansnow 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:51

if he prefers jackin off in public thn havin sex withu in ur house thn ur responsible 4 tht

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:01

you are very cute and France was very nice when I was there with a friend:)

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:03

srry that was from a previous FML I wasnt talking 2 u. Sorry!!:(

Docsecret 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:25

The cop must not have been impressed. poor you. FYL.

Keywords

Skincare Cats Health Gross Work Coworkers Animals Awkward Love AITA Fire Cars Transportation Scams Money Bikes Scary Dogs Motherhood Miscellaneous Family Covid Birthday Social Media Jealousy Friends Intimacy Sex Wanker Lonely

The Top

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 129

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 517

You deserved it 12 732

The Top

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 138

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 2 590

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 101

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 634

You deserved it 4 573

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 340

You deserved it 4 237

Today, I was fiddling with a ring my aunt hand made me, accidentally slipping it off, and dropped it in the toilet. Like an idiot, I scrambled to get it out only for my bending over to activate the automatic flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 126

You deserved it 984

Same thing different taste

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