Health: Short, sharp, shock - FML

Short, sharp, shock

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a Band-Aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 241

You deserved it 54 097

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Top comments

Jake2195 0

Monday 14 February 2011 12:19

it's called take a shower and it just falls off

DahkLohd 4

Monday 14 February 2011 12:48

Your penis falls off in the shower? Yikes!

Comments

bananamonkee 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:29

WTF kind of band-aid are you using? f**king epoxy based? or duck tape with some cotton? or you must have one sensitive little sucker

wannatxt 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:43

I'm kind of cerious of why it was there?

rockefoe 6

Tuesday 15 February 2011 9:09

love!

Vaesive 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:50

Is the penis new? You should know what not to do to it by the time you can spell. OP isnt very bright. God knows what's gonna happen when a condoms involved...

jonny2x4 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:09

No band aid in the world can hide herpes.

SashafuckinAuten 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 12:34

Why did u even put one on? Not trying to be rude or anything just wondering why. i just made a acount on here so i am new

i_love_grrr 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 7:59

lol

xGraycloud 4

Sunday 20 February 2011 22:46

you retard!

BabyLuis 0

Monday 21 February 2011 3:22

i hope it hurt :)

madeingeorgia 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 0:29

ha! next time use duct tape!

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Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Awkward My ex Shopping Racism Relatable Family AITA Kids Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health Cops Neighbours Stressed out Scary Parents

The Top

Today, I left my job, fulfilling my one month's notice after receiving a job offer from a much better-paying role. After saying goodbye to everyone, I left the building. Not two minutes later, the company who was offering the new job called to say they'd changed their minds, and there was now no longer a job on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 136

Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 484

You deserved it 3 894

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 041

You deserved it 32 809

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 591

You deserved it 876

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 264

You deserved it 37 285

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 573

You deserved it 6 779

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 120