Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Play your cards right

Play your cards right

By ShinobiForLife - 23/03/2022 18:01

Today, I realised that I keep both Naruto collecting cards and a condom in the same pocket of my wallet. Nothing says sexy quite like dropping a bunch of Gaara cards before getting it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 1 135

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Same thing different taste

Oops

By Hornymuch - 02/11/2012 11:35 - Germany

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 121

You deserved it 28 903

By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 233

You deserved it 5 606

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 551

You deserved it 619

Celebrate good times come on!

By badplacerightnow - 13/10/2014 14:15 - United States - Frisco

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 982

You deserved it 9 227

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 004

You deserved it 4 096

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 918

You deserved it 48 779

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 4 500

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 9 411

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 146

You deserved it 5 496

By WTF - 22/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 992

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:19

If the person you're getting busy with accepts your love for Naruto, they may be a keeper. Don't be ashamed. Everyone is a fanatic for something.

missedhighfivemakessad 4

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:35

You want to understand how to use lee’s hidden lotus on your partner. Garaas sand is the exact opposite of what you want

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:19

If the person you're getting busy with accepts your love for Naruto, they may be a keeper. Don't be ashamed. Everyone is a fanatic for something.

missedhighfivemakessad 4

Wednesday 23 March 2022 18:35

You want to understand how to use lee’s hidden lotus on your partner. Garaas sand is the exact opposite of what you want

CuriousEKitty 21

Wednesday 23 March 2022 19:56

Let's hope the person you are trying to perform shadow clone sexy jutsu with accepts all of you and you can laugh about it later ^^

Lydmyers 9

Friday 25 March 2022 8:02

Find the right person, and it would be sexy 😉

Emily Mariah 8

Tuesday 29 March 2022 6:50

no that's pretty awesome lmao I get hype every time I watch him and rock lees fight!!! no matter how many times so I'd think it would be pretty cool.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Social Media Money Scams Parents School Kids Education Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 034

You deserved it 50 697

Today, I knew my girlfriend's dad owned a security company. What I did not know was that he treats his employees like family, so my girlfriend has about 40 scary uncles who’ve known her since she was a baby, and most of them are ex-military. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 103

You deserved it 392

Today, what I thought was food poisoning is actually a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 688

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 084

You deserved it 39 869

Today, my boss fired me, saying he’d had a lot of patience with me, but now the time had come to part. Funny, a few months ago he told me that he had to have a lot of patience with each of my coworkers when they started, but that I was the only one who grasped it all right from the start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 84

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 578

You deserved it 4 674