Intimacy: Sexy talk - FML

Sexy talk

By aur - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Spicy

Today, I spent my first night with my English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice, "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 841

You deserved it 7 996

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Same thing different taste

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 850

You deserved it 4 676

By drooler - 06/08/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 308

You deserved it 40 761

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 917

You deserved it 765

By anonymaiacciu - 22/12/2012 01:16 - France

Spicy

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 788

You deserved it 8 952

By mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 945

You deserved it 34 585

Keep going!

By Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 313

You deserved it 5 067

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 658

You deserved it 12 195

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 04:06 - Canada - London

Spicy

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 931

You deserved it 7 325

Lost in translation

By ladyhead - 18/12/2008 16:30 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 014

You deserved it 4 026

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 4 156

Next

Top comments

MightyMeganLH 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 16:07

Kinky ;)

Andy_King 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 20:22

she wanted to say "oh, i'm so thirsty" in a sexy voice so her boyfriend got her a glass of water. instead she said "oh, i'm so dirty"

Comments

88PersianPride88 0

Monday 19 April 2010 3:49

smooth goin girl

Beavers18 6

Tuesday 20 April 2010 4:11

no you where right the first time, french women are dirty.

wilkshire13 0

Monday 3 May 2010 16:43

no issue lol if he looked wired he dnt want sex duh

laishwowj 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 5:55

hahaha. owned. first

teresa_009 0

Sunday 16 May 2010 17:07

well if you said 'oh I'm thirsty' in a sexy voice i'm sure it could be taken the wrong way too..

thatonek1d 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 20:19

many ppl r thirsty after sex. not an fml

fylkman 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 6:33

agreed with 26

omg_thats_funny 0

Friday 25 June 2010 1:54

26- trueeee

chelzy 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 2:58

26 is such a badass. and she's hot. XP

CorinnaHEY 6

Monday 28 June 2010 20:16

(:

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Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 312

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You deserved it 184

The Top

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You deserved it 5 539

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I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 368

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I agree, your life sucks 24 867

You deserved it 4 164

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I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 4 689

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I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 4 108

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I agree, your life sucks 10 626

You deserved it 1 671