Sex and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 5 985

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 381

You deserved it 4 984

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 736

You deserved it 32 273

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 4 763

Not now

By anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 329

You deserved it 4 717

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 11 993

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 368

You deserved it 6 161

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 791

You deserved it 7 618

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 561

You deserved it 35 837

By Undefined - 01/01/2009 12:09 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 326

You deserved it 8 625

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 289

You deserved it 2 748

imcooool 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 9:29

haha I'm sorry but that made me lmaooooo! haa

CH723 0

Monday 6 February 2012 6:33

he was trying to be funny and lighten the mood. how in ***** name does that deserve wrath ?

Comments

killurbeer 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 18:57

he is probably referring, to your snatch

mikiimike45 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 21:04

Have u ever been 2 Arby's... Maybe u should take him there sometime :D

erp47 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 21:59

then go get him some arbys woman

marycharles 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:06

haha that's really funny actually.

durtysanch 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:14

haha classic u got to give the guy a hand.

dieselpwr 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:24

that's freakin awesome

Erindub 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 23:25

Thats why you never ask that question, silly! This is Relationship 101 stuff.

pooda50 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 0:55

hahahahahahahahah

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 10 January 2010 1:41

Your boyfriend is a champion!

DevilDoodle 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 2:23

Or maybe her boyfriend is just a genius comedian. And this poster is a whiney bitch. No wonder he didn't want to have sex with you.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I was trying to impress my girlfriend of three months, I showed her the real diamond ring I'd got for my ex. She got an attitude for our whole three-hour car ride home because I'd brought up my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 333

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 2 953

The Top

Today, my boss had me walk a mile to the nearest store to get food for a party because she didn't want to lose her parking space at work. Her shopping list had two gallons of juice and a 10lb bag of ice... I had my legs and arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 924

You deserved it 404

Today, I had money set out to pay bills, for a gift, and to put in a card as my cousin's wedding gift. I was rushing and not paying attention and ended up putting all of the money in the wedding card. $400 from one person. I guess I'll have no cable or cell phone this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 2 903

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 373

You deserved it 2 040

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 375

You deserved it 6 672

Today, I spent almost 8 hours working on a piece of hand lettering art for a friend. When I sent her a preview, she loved it, but also pointed out that the title was off centre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 225

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 460

You deserved it 218