Health, Healthy Lifestyle and Poopoo peepee: Relationship goals

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 17/05/2015 05:10 - United States

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 2 696

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Same thing different taste

By lizann - 03/04/2012 05:39 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 481

You deserved it 4 670

Party animal

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 02:04

Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 166

Dude, gross!

By juggalo2 - 17/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 443

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 1 235

By kimmybr - 22/09/2009 09:36 - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 708

You deserved it 5 589

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 2 668

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 5 216

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 5 398

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 04:17 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 2 612

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 3 288

tbear4prez 14

Monday 18 May 2015 0:05

I think you actually have to try to miss when pooping...

Patriots21 14

Monday 18 May 2015 0:02

Tell him to place his fartbox over the water, not the toilet seat.

Comments

Just1Day 12

Monday 18 May 2015 13:30

Seems like a great time for him to be cleaning th r toilet.

corleon198425 22

Monday 18 May 2015 15:59

are you in Iraq?

samlovesham1234 9

Monday 18 May 2015 18:21

How the hell do you miss when you drop a deuce?!

ironmany_fml 23

Monday 18 May 2015 21:14

yes mother in law, i'd like to return this husband - it is broken. It does not even shit properly!

jerry91 15

Monday 18 May 2015 22:21

did you marry a retard?

subscript 15

Monday 18 May 2015 22:27

Retard is mean you should have said "did you marry Peter Griffin"

jerry91 15

Wednesday 20 May 2015 9:21

lol you are right it was mean yours is beter haha

subscript 15

Monday 18 May 2015 22:25

Tell him to clean it himself

fmljosh1015 20

Tuesday 19 May 2015 6:30

Wtf

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 19 May 2015 7:18

argh seriously thats digusting , how ******* lazy is he ? id kick his ass out side ,until he suddenly remembers "how to use the toilet properly" !

momac86 17

Tuesday 19 May 2015 9:48

Make him go outside like a dog until he's house trained

bubblefarts 2

Tuesday 19 May 2015 17:38

this is why people get divorced

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The Top

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 831

You deserved it 1 359

Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I found out that the man I’ve been dating for four months still isn’t over his ex and that’s why he doesn’t want to make it official between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 117

Today, after waiting 7 months to get my amended tax return refund, I was informed today that not only did they mail it to the wrong address, the person who they mailed it to cashed the check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 83

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 815

You deserved it 10 929

Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 833

You deserved it 903

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 877

You deserved it 4 848

Today, my husband pre-ordered $500 worth of Transformers figures. We're supposed to be trying to save up for a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 142