Party animal

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 02:04

Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 165

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 2 668

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 4 004

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 581

You deserved it 3 905

Giving

By nt121511 - 03/08/2016 22:40

Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 119

You deserved it 1 146

By Shenza - 17/06/2012 12:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 836

You deserved it 3 021

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 5 397

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 392

You deserved it 3 570

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 17/05/2015 05:10 - United States

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 2 696

Boozed up

By speechless - 13/07/2013 14:32 - United States - Mitchell

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 319

You deserved it 4 631

By lillymean - 03/02/2012 01:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 6 111

coius 23

Wednesday 16 September 2020 17:33

Could be vertigo or neurological. When you say you’ve never seen him this drunk, makes me think he has a habit of this, and you should do an intervention. It sounds like he’s an alcoholic and its going to be a train wreck coming down the line if it continues like this.

spinspinsugar 12

Wednesday 16 September 2020 21:21

I feel your pain, my husband has done that. he wasn't even drunk, he was sleepwalking. or he'll pee in the garbage, that's always nice to smell after the fact

Comments

timinator5000 28

Wednesday 16 September 2020 12:37

Are you sure its drunk if he woke up? Don't people do that and Then pass out? (not super familiar with drunk people so I could be wrong)

coius 23

Wednesday 16 September 2020 17:33

spinspinsugar 12

Wednesday 16 September 2020 21:21

I feel your pain, my husband has done that. he wasn't even drunk, he was sleepwalking. or he'll pee in the garbage, that's always nice to smell after the fact

Sumus125 17

Friday 18 September 2020 23:10

I know how much it sucks to smell urine in your bedroom. But at least it was in a waste receptical and not all over the floor, right?

spinspinsugar 12

Saturday 19 September 2020 0:53

the first time it was on the hardwood floor, my dresser, and our clothes hamper. the other times it was in the trashcan and the wall and the floor

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 16 September 2020 22:50

Sounds bad - I know that when I was a kid, I sometimes walked in my sleep, from my bedroom (wich was on the second floor) over to the stairs, stood on top of the stairs and peed down, before I went back to bed, so on behalf of all of us who randomly choose where to pee when we're not fully conscious, I'm sorry!