Love: Real estate

Real estate

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 945

You deserved it 12 200

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 025

You deserved it 7 727

By just_friends - 27/10/2010 17:19 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 3 593

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 930

You deserved it 4 135

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 084

You deserved it 15 424

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 19:35 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 904

You deserved it 6 021

By longtrip - 18/01/2010 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 119

You deserved it 2 413

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 815

You deserved it 4 673

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 6 818

Iamnotmyself 17

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:03

I bid 20$

JiggaJayZ 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:07

I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.

Comments

ThorneCrossed 9

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:25

in this economy, you are getting bought anytime soon

nixter5 18

Thursday 21 July 2011 5:07

dude. why have deuce as your pic? he sucks so badly now that HU dumped him. Danny is so much better.

copo37 7

Thursday 21 July 2011 9:20

Irrelevant to the post in the first place but no, that is not why Hollywood undead "dumped" him.

ThorneCrossed 9

Friday 22 July 2011 3:59

deuce is way better than Danny will ever be

gmez 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:25

lmfao!!!

Loserguy139 6

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:27

Your "girlfriend" wanted to be "just friends?" What the ****... Just accept that she doesn't want you.

thatguynamedsky 32

Thursday 26 February 2015 16:07

right? it's kinda creepy how he worded this

Inspired22 11

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:29

That's so mean! It always hurts to be rejected, but there are more tactful ways of doing so!

a_nutritionist 10

Thursday 21 July 2011 6:54

theres also more tactful ways of trying to bring a relationship back together.

Nikkitaria 9

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:30

looks like she didn't quite change her mind...

shea300 5

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:31

that sucks bro , my girlfriend's name is Emily too so I can empathize your situation

dreamering 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:45

Yeah man. That's an unbelievable coincidence. Ask her if she knows how to draw.

gcox_fml 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 2:35

my gfs name is Emily to I feel ya

11Martinez 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 3:15

how does that work???

perdix 29

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:32

She wants to be your pimp. You're still her property, but she wants to sell you. You'd better give her all the money, bitch, or she'll slap you silly.