Love: Real estate

Real estate

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 945

You deserved it 12 201

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Same thing different taste

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 025

You deserved it 7 727

By just_friends - 27/10/2010 17:19 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 3 593

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 930

You deserved it 4 135

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 084

You deserved it 15 424

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 19:35 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 904

You deserved it 6 021

By longtrip - 18/01/2010 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 119

You deserved it 2 413

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 816

You deserved it 4 673

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 6 818

Iamnotmyself 17

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:03

I bid 20$

JiggaJayZ 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:07

I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.

Comments

bannedforlife 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 2:37

What a bitch.

DinosaursAreCool_fml 8

Thursday 21 July 2011 2:45

this made me laugh lol.

Some_guy 6

Thursday 21 July 2011 2:54

I should call her. With all the sub-prime mortgage foreclosures, leg values have plummeted. It's the perfect time to buy!

iluvcrazipepl 9

Thursday 21 July 2011 2:55

sorry OP get a new gf btw how much are u going for…jk

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 21 July 2011 2:57

Obviously, she is trying to sell your leg to someone in need, you heartless fool. She was merely going through the legal process.

JennaMason 6

Thursday 21 July 2011 3:00

I'm bidding 25$, weed and some beer.

Missmeeep 2

Thursday 21 July 2011 3:11

That sucks you need a new girl lol

mog85 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 3:11

hahaha

pieintheface 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 3:21

she's gonna be a slave dealer. it's best you stay away

dani212 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 3:25

lmao! shes smart! I'm gonna use that on my friend who wants to be more than just friends...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird My ex Shopping Awkward Racism Family Relatable Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Mental health Psychology Cops Neighbours Scary Parents Stressed out

The Top

Today, my boyfriend proposed with the biggest, tackiest, most Geordie Shore-style ring I’ve ever seen. I said yes because I love him, but this thing is twice as wide as my finger and just looks horrible compared to the solitaire ring I told him I really liked. I’m embarrassed to be seen wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 501

Today, I had to catch a bus to work, as my car had to be taken in yesterday. The bad drivers always upset my stomach with their instant stop/start driving style. I felt a burp coming on, but it turned out to be projectile vomit that filled my mask right up and poured down my shirt and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 185

The Top

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 975

You deserved it 8 729

Today, my two year-old fell with a toy in her hand. The TV isn't even paid off yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 465

Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 1 530

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 691

You deserved it 3 265

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 7 784

Today, I put more effort into getting and keeping my Sims onto a good sleep schedule in order to properly take care of their needs than I did for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 724

You deserved it 7 682

Real estate

Same thing different taste

Carrier pigeon

Teenage PDA warning

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