Intimacy and Health: Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes - FML

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 767

You deserved it 12 031

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 698

Fight me

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 756

You deserved it 25 565

By iailwkrb - 26/02/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 895

You deserved it 28 005

By areyoukiddingme - 02/11/2015 05:54 - United States - Marion

Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 056

You deserved it 2 176

The runs

By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 75

By Why Me - 15/08/2018 04:00

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 667

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 901

You deserved it 6 012

Hand sanitizer

By sexlube - 01/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, my kid told my wife he's been using the hand sanitizer under our bathroom sink. It's not hand sanitizer, it's a giant bottle of lube.

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 923

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 383

By anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:27

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 357

You deserved it 3 173

Next

Top comments

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 0:58

Ouch! I bet that burnt your pee pee hole. What did we learn? Hmmm? lol

AYoungMexicanLad 8

Friday 10 February 2017 0:00

YDI.

Comments

AYoungMexicanLad 8

Friday 10 February 2017 0:00

YDI.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 10 February 2017 0:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Arashikage 18

Friday 10 February 2017 5:41

What commercials have you been looking at

RichardPencil 30

Friday 10 February 2017 5:45

Ones from many years ago.

bigred121970 10

Friday 10 February 2017 0:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 0:58

Ouch! I bet that burnt your pee pee hole. What did we learn? Hmmm? lol

Stuffaluffagus 25

Friday 10 February 2017 1:06

So totally unrelated but your hair is gorgeous

ASLGabby 9

Friday 10 February 2017 4:38

It's goals

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 8:54

Thank you :) you are so sweet! It's my 3 absolute favorite colors. Blue, purple and pink. Took forever at the salon but totally worth it!

cuz803 44

Friday 10 February 2017 1:16

Well it's said karma's a bitch

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 10 February 2017 1:23

"you know when to hold them, you know when to fold them". He did not fold. I would now if I were you though. He don't play. And now you know~

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 10 February 2017 1:28

RE-DO 'cause I mistyped dammit. 1 point if you find the difference "you know when to hold them, you know when to fold them". He didn't fold them. I would now if I were you though. He don't play. And now you know~

ajk168 22

Friday 10 February 2017 1:35

Somebody had to get burned

RaylanGivens 14

Friday 10 February 2017 1:44

A burn for a burn, baby. That's in the Bible.-- Hooch.

mattyiscool123 26

Friday 10 February 2017 1:54

Always expect to be pranked back

shitstorm28 11

Friday 10 February 2017 3:02

you earned that one, op.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom Animals Cats Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 258

You deserved it 2 123

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 1 245

Today, I was let go from a position that I spent 11 years pouring my heart into. I was fired for ranting in an group chat, after getting 37 minutes of sleep in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 465

Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 164

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 613

You deserved it 4 306

Today, I saw my first FML I published on Facebook. Everyone was bashing me, thinking that I was the problem and the cause for my ex-boyfriend wanting to do his own thing. I used to sit in his room being ignored for days straight while he gamed. Not once did I bitch about his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 337

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 190

You deserved it 5 163