Intimacy: Not now - FML

Not now

By sexysue - 07/11/2009 22:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was mine and my husband's anniversary. He was at work so I decided to dress up "sexy." You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother, who'd come by to wish me a happy anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 088

You deserved it 5 757

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Spicy

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 353

You deserved it 3 450

By Meggie - 05/11/2009 05:06 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 206

You deserved it 2 193

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 222

You deserved it 7 759

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Spicy

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 695

You deserved it 3 557

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 333

You deserved it 6 218

By SayCheese - 02/04/2013 22:52 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 011

You deserved it 72 288

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 572

You deserved it 18 036

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 623

You deserved it 2 744

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 210

By Bree - 23/09/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 192

You deserved it 314

Next

Top comments

gollygoshers 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:04

I think it's better to wear something revealing under something that COVERS IT UP. that's just common sense, which I greatly lack.

Drakon_fml 7

Sunday 8 November 2009 4:21

Coulda been worse. Coulda been your husband wearing the same things. How awkward!!

Comments

asleepingbear 8

Thursday 29 March 2012 5:26

At least your brother cared to say happy anniversary

xXNerrrdXx 16

Monday 27 May 2013 23:35

and y does your brother have keys? if he lives with you Then why would you wander around in that ?!

Ashlei69 4

Friday 13 September 2013 17:45

ohhh ewe ******* gross

MissKangaroo 23

Saturday 7 February 2015 6:37

My husband and I*

DalekWarrior26 9

Friday 10 April 2015 17:46

My husband and I

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 44 164

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 359

The Top

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 513

You deserved it 15 643

Today, I went to the bathroom. I locked the stall door, but got walked in on anyway. This is the eighth time this has happened this week, and multiple people think I’m just too stupid to lock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 196

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 438

You deserved it 2 158

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 797

You deserved it 2 132

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 961

You deserved it 3 467

Today, it seemed like a great day. Right up until the point to where I accidentally damaged a friend's MacBook Pro. Not only do I have to pay for it, but the only way I'll be able to afford it is by returning every single Christmas gift I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 479

You deserved it 676