Love: Nostradamus

Nostradamus

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 587

You deserved it 4 433

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By GumStickExtraGmail - 14/09/2017 17:30 - United States - Arvada

Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 711

You deserved it 619

Revelations

By ed5509 - 25/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 88

By segal1010 - 28/02/2013 00:27 - United States - Potomac

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 876

You deserved it 4 296

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 240

You deserved it 6 678

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 633

You deserved it 3 119

Way to be creepy

By Shoe - 27/02/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 942

You deserved it 40 146

By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 719

You deserved it 9 700

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 347

You deserved it 1 879

By gangstalicious - 08/05/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 294

You deserved it 13 561

By alealovespurple - 16/08/2009 20:04 - Canada

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 854

You deserved it 17 222

MissAwesomeness 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

damn kids are so truthful. fyl. sorry.

aaronmk 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

she must be one clever little girl

Comments

dookiedoo 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:57

at least your daughter will grow up knowing he's the asshole.

armorf0r 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:00

it's better to find out that way rather than walking in on them..

armorf0r 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:09

the whole thing is just ****** up in general too. people need to get their shit straight these days

Garytt 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:02

mayb its a friend thats a girl?

dreamering 16

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:12

Is your daughter name Sherlock?

Jonnieonit 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:12

why are you getting YOUR text history pulled?

KristinaKreme 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:08

Maybe her husband uses her phone??

ironyisforlosers 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:15

if her husband used her phone to text his girlfriend, then he's either extremely brave or just a huge dumbass

Clouded_Rhino 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:18

OR they share a phone plan... being married and such. duh.

kingtz 6

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:45

63, that's brilliant, actually. You use your wife's own phone to cheat on her with, as that's probably the last place she'd think to look for evidence. Best place to cheat? Take the girlfriend to your wife's parents' house!

RockstarRN 10

Sunday 15 May 2011 17:18

They share a phone plan. Primary holder can always pull records.

ChantelRenaeee 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:16

you're*

lidemocr 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 14:03

fail "ms OCD" hahaha

MandaOSU 1

Sunday 15 May 2011 16:06

Baahahaha, nice correction, 'Why are you getting "you are" txt history?' If YOU'RE going to correct someone, make sure you know what YOU'RE talking about baahahahahahaa!!

gabbygirll3 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 17:09

can you please shut the **** up.

EliseAqua 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 17:23

It really is YOUR. YOU'RE would be used as a contraction of you are. If you have to bug people about spelling and grammar and such, at least make sure the info you are giving is correct.