Animals and Intimacy: Nature is healing

Nature is healing

By squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 016

You deserved it 6 279

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By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 46 208

Psycho

By Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 4 229

By notapetkiller - 26/07/2016 06:12 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog that had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 977

You deserved it 1 628

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 37 514

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 856

You deserved it 5 264

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 067

You deserved it 3 887

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 15 513

Traumatized

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 673

You deserved it 5 898

By ZZ - 30/06/2009 03:01 - Canada

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 568

You deserved it 66 767

Neighbors from hell

By Myself - 06/09/2010 10:45 - United States

Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 16 988

jewknowit710 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:19

some one is jealous that they arent getting any action... lol

aleclikestacos 8

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:19

you should have honked to save them from getting hit by another car and also to save you time.

Comments

ryankon518 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 15:29

Awkward!

The_Commentor_ 6

Sunday 22 May 2011 15:41

Traffic JAM.

lalalaleah4 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:05

They were IN the road?! What a sight to see!

basketballpro 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:06

those squirrels have some stamina!!

fairymacabre 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:17

pics or it didn't happen.

pinkspaceboundro 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:18

sadly- I think I would have watched too! lmao!!!!

Missiy10 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 17:02

ahhhh cute 

rachelmacivor 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 17:09

i was eating runny vanilla ice cream when i read this O_o

jared280zx 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 17:18

your mom has got the right idea!

Tanya33 1

Sunday 22 May 2011 17:34

sounds like a hippie. Or pornstar.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 545

Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 983

You deserved it 19 769

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 375

Today, I emailed a bunch of documents to a potential client, only to later realise later I'd also emailed them a folder of mine and my husband's very intimate photos. There’s things in there we only do when I’m very drunk, and am very embarrassed by. I’ve been ducking my bosses calls for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 279

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 855

You deserved it 55 500

Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 169

Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 210

Today, my manager cussed me out for being unable to keep a customer happy. That "customer" was a senile old twit who had wandered away from his carer, thought our shop was his living room, and demanded to know who replaced all his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 420

You deserved it 390