Weird, TV shows, Scary and Love: Minor threat

Minor threat

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 12:33 - Australia - Fairfield

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 3 443

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/11/2012 18:14 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 781

You deserved it 2 372

By stillloverher - 19/09/2017 23:45

Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 211

You deserved it 503

By bloody - 15/06/2013 08:57 - United States

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 143

You deserved it 5 077

By StabStab - 11/01/2015 13:03 - Belgium

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 2 961

Hard act to follow

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 227

You deserved it 13 443

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 114

Oh no, the humanity!

By clown head - 24/08/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 1 337

By Shame - 19/09/2012 20:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 111

You deserved it 3 603

By soprahb - 19/10/2012 06:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 1 839

By Nogood - 10/03/2013 09:09 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 158

You deserved it 3 011

zebraumicornz 6

Saturday 15 December 2012 15:49

Doesn't that juice stain! I would get some stain remover if I was you...

lolmigosh 15

Saturday 15 December 2012 15:48

I would keep my eye on her if I were you.

Comments

99megster 15

Saturday 15 December 2012 17:50

That would be really messy!! I ate a pomegranate a couple of days ago and after I ate it I looked in the mirror and discovered that it had sprayed all over my face and shirt! Good thing I washed my shirt right away, or it probably would have stained.

suboy 10

Saturday 15 December 2012 18:01

As long as you behave you have nothing to worry about, unless she has her own code.

Teyros 24

Saturday 15 December 2012 18:04

You have to admit it's a pretty good show. Don't be scared OP.. Just make sure you don't have any more garbage bags in your house.

TipOfTheHat 10

Saturday 15 December 2012 18:16

Does Lorena Bobbit come to mind?

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 15 December 2012 20:26

I was going to say... Check her internet history. If Lorena Bobbit comes up, sleep with one eye open.

Sparks808 10

Saturday 15 December 2012 18:23

Guess her plan of winning every argument is working then. :) Your girlfriend is diabolical.

ben827 10

Saturday 15 December 2012 18:24

I hope she isn't like Overly Attached Girlfriend. Whatever you do, don't lose sight of her. And if you see her holding something shiny and kinda pointy from the corner of your eyes RUN! In all seriousness, I'd be concerned and I'd talk to her about it. I'm sure she isn't a serial killer. If you express your concern now, she might explain it all to you. Either that or keep her away from that show. My sister watches that show and is obsessed with it. I know how you feel.