Gross, Allergies and Health: Living free - FML

Living free

By WhatTheFuck - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Bridgeview

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 790

You deserved it 1 818

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Top comments

Yazoo77 16

Friday 31 July 2015 0:55

Buy your grandma a different brand and tell her it's organic.

kingodsucksville 18

Friday 31 July 2015 1:02

What did you do to deserve that

Comments

brycemash 9

Friday 31 July 2015 4:45

Probably mistook hemmroids from an allergic reaction

cowgirlupCA 4

Friday 31 July 2015 5:01

Poor Nature

gabyyhaha 1

Friday 31 July 2015 5:04

Is that.. Is that why old people smell bad?..

heartofhannah 28

Friday 31 July 2015 5:23

I hope she's not allergic to bath water as well.

finalyearsofhate 22

Friday 31 July 2015 5:41

She should try a different brand, like one that isn't chemically treated. I've had issues with certain brands myself, and it can be quite uncomfortable.

xbaconator9000x 16

Friday 31 July 2015 6:08

You win FML of the decade.

cosmicdancer84 7

Friday 31 July 2015 6:18

hahahaha

OrganicSistah 17

Friday 31 July 2015 6:47

Get her some baby wipes.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 31 July 2015 7:03

She should try unscented toilet paper then.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 31 July 2015 7:23

They make bidet seats / lids that can attach to regular toilets, so you wouldn't have to rip up her bathroom to install new plumbing for a standalone bidet.

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The Top

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432

You deserved it 236

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 802

You deserved it 4 176

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 971

You deserved it 6 431

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 71 237

Today, I just finished a seventeen hour flight in economy. I actually managed to fall asleep, until a flight attendant shined her flashlight directly into my bad eye, triggering an excruciating pain response. Why? "I couldn't see your seatbelt." It was fastened, and the seat belt light wasn't even lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 108

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 456

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 414