Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Cars and Farts: Lingering

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 572

You deserved it 5 469

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Same thing different taste

By shwasted - 22/02/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 545

You deserved it 3 789

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 503

You deserved it 2 944

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 297

By avaiia - 09/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 748

You deserved it 1 600

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 581

By Skankeriffic - 19/02/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 222

You deserved it 30 710

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 870

You deserved it 360

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 479

You deserved it 1 115

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 856

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 765

You deserved it 3 628

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

Comments

fallenarchangel 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:06

LOL #1 lol ydi for farting I guess

pizz0wn3d 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:12

tell her it's the dead hooker in your trunk.

nirvan5a 1

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:16

oh man, shit happens, what happened next :P

LovingCFK 8

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:27

dude, just take the purse, get out of the car on your side, and walk it over to her. just tell her the problem... if she's cool, she'l dig your solution. happens to everyone.

Mnemic 5

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:32

You could have asked her if she farted when she got out of the car... >:)

iKaite 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:34

This comment made me lol more then the FML.

MIKENYC 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:45

haha hope u got a kiss goodnight

cccp_fml 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 14:14

rawr

slutsstud 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 14:30

Well I think everyone here is overlooking something rather simple. The fact that he didn't get out while dropping her off says something regarding that date.. that even though the op thought date was going good, it wasn't really... so the point is that this fart thing didn't really matter.

Prawn_fml 2

Saturday 11 July 2009 14:36

Not necessarily. Maybe it was a no parking area, for instance. Or they'd agreed that the date wouldn't move on to him coming home with her. Could be many reasons. They might have had a pretty passionate kiss before she got out, and even agreed on a next date. What OP could possibly have done, is grab her bag, step out of the car and hand it to her across the roof.

kitkat26_fml 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 16:55

I don't really see anything wrong with that. Out of the many dates I've been on, like maybe one guy has gotten out to walk me to my door. PLUS... when you get those urgent stomach cramps, sometimes you don't even want to move, you want to get home to relieve yourself as soon as possible!

o_Ofml 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 14:36

Today, I was on a date and it was going really well, i forgot my purse in the guys car, when i reached in and grabbed it it was the worst smell ive ever smelt i almost vomited on his lap, FML.