Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Cars and Farts: Lingering

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 572

You deserved it 5 469

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Same thing different taste

By shwasted - 22/02/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 545

You deserved it 3 789

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 503

You deserved it 2 944

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 297

By avaiia - 09/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 748

You deserved it 1 601

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 581

By Skankeriffic - 19/02/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 222

You deserved it 30 710

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 870

You deserved it 360

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 479

You deserved it 1 115

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 856

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 765

You deserved it 3 628

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

Comments

Bmac95 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 15:25

I have been there and done that. I bet she won't ever forget anything in your car again.

Bmac95 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 15:27

I have been there and done that. I bet she won't ever forget anything in your car again.

ams116 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 15:51

Hand it out the window? Im sure there was a way to avoid any problems here.

Capnstinkfoot 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 15:53

jesus christ wtf

FuzzyWalnuts 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 16:06

Roll down the windows on your side dumbass

buddy51 23

Saturday 11 July 2009 16:20

tell her "I fart in your general direction!"

tranman978 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 17:23

Just ACCIDENTLEY light a match and all the fumes will combust and your car will be able to travel time like back to the future

sikanderimran 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 18:47

Hahahahahahahaha roflmao

diet_otaku 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:01

if she's a girl worth dating, and she genuinely likes you, she won't mind. everybody farts, and you can't help when you have to let one rip. if she IS all offended and "omg ew gross!" and stops seeing you just because of that, then she's a retard and you're better off without her anyway.