Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 930

You deserved it 158 967

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

koda_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 13:56

Dog > You Lmao.

TattooedToDeath 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:01

haha nice ;) i lol'd

Meowff 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:14

IF this was my son, I'd be calling the therapist. You're real smart, dick head. :P Why the heck would you hump your dog back? Now he knows you're interested!

lautner4eva 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:16

hahahahahahahahahahah ur cray-z! wut next? u guna pee on ur dog? and wtf did ur mom say?

circayouandme 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:21

You sick ****!!!

alyssamarie218 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:26

OMG HAHAHAHAH

Rawrrr14 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:29

lmfao. My dog does the same thing, now humping my dog back crossed my mind..... but I decided against it. lol

BlackJewel 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:29

haha u made my day :D talking about human dogs, they do exist XD

phluffmuffin 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:33

This never happened.

lol135 0

Monday 18 May 2009 14:40

you're ******. the end

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The Top

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 224

You deserved it 6 698

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 762

You deserved it 15 566

The Top

Today I got my senior pictures back from the photographer. When my boyfriend saw them, he said I look creepy. Not pretty, not beautiful, not even decent. Creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 125

Today, I'm so nice, I allowed my landlady to use my freezer in the hallway. In exchange, she's so nice, she feels entitled to take my food being stored in said freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 167

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 370

You deserved it 3 442

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 675

You deserved it 11 686

Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 192

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 2 921