Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 931

You deserved it 158 970

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

KrystleLynn 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:55

********** is a sin...:P

kellster 2

Monday 18 May 2009 17:59

Um. Words kind of fail. What the hell were you thinking???????????????????????

CapriceClassic 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:04

Some people shouldn't have kids - some shouldn't have pets - you should NEVER have either of them.

Mata_Hari 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:11

Well...that's another way to do it doggy-style....

alibear12 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:14

sad... lol

Ivy_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:18

hahhaha ok I wouldn't hump my dogs...there are other ways to show domination. But seriously, if your dog was humping you trying to be dominant you would be PISSED, humping right back doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Why not? give the dog a taste of it's own medicine. It's not like he was getting off to it. Sure it's weird, and unexplainable to your mother. But I don't blame you, I hate dogs that don't know their place.

jonnykillz 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:21

don't feel bad.... my husband did the exact same thing to our dog!

Occam 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:24

#69 (lol) - Rape is also a control issue and not as often sexual, but that doesn't make it OK.

psycholindsssss 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:26

that has to be one of the FUNNIEST things i have ever ever ever heard in my life. one of my favorite FML posts ever. :)

Mexistache 0

Monday 18 May 2009 18:27

@ #30 Who says it was dry??

10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Fire Kids Money Food Capitalism Miscellaneous Clothes AITA Thief Health Intimacy Birthday Death Love Sex Disability Abuse Fish Camping Vegan Holidays Ableism Video games Geek

The Top

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 3 727

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 404

You deserved it 7 420

The Top

Today, it's been a little while since I found out that my parents are getting a divorce. They'd been married for 25 years and my father got bored and lost feelings. My mother is crying and howling on the bathroom floor right now. It has happened before, but since it was in our upstairs bathroom, I could open the door with a knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 107

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 529

You deserved it 48 266

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 235

You deserved it 22 766

Today I saw a picture of my ex giving her new boyfriend an extremely familiar ring. Upon zooming in, I realized that it was the engagement ring i gave her that she claimed to have had stolen from her home... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 179

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 746

You deserved it 8 510

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 242

You deserved it 19 001