Weird, Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Ice-breaker

Ice-breaker

By bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 712

You deserved it 3 965

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 428

Recognize this?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 431

You deserved it 19 781

Weird assumption

By writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 6 312

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 844

You deserved it 4 420

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 838

You deserved it 1 343

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 942

You deserved it 8 242

By MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 979

You deserved it 5 567

Picture game

By Anonymous - 01/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 2 180

By haggisbowl - 14/01/2012 06:52 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 9 457

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 18:27 - United States - Westerville

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 698

You deserved it 6 177

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 20 October 2014 22:12

what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis

HappyItalian 38

Monday 20 October 2014 22:16

"Probably not you."

Comments

IWishIWasObama 12

Tuesday 21 October 2014 17:08

you have found your one. congratulations!

savemeSheehan 8

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:48

classy guy

Joshery 14

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:55

Walk away...just walk away

InTheMagic 3

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:58

Nervous?? Or just a creep??

lbanks_fml 10

Wednesday 22 October 2014 5:42

Was the problem with the question.........or the answer to his question??

Tyyeezyjr 13

Wednesday 22 October 2014 6:26

No comment.

clair_brodie 35

Wednesday 22 October 2014 7:00

"I'm not sure but it was probably bigger than your dick"

prostar9993 15

Wednesday 22 October 2014 20:52

And your answer is.........

urake 10

Thursday 23 October 2014 7:07

Hahaha "bye loser" indeed Good for you OP :)

ladyg228 15

Thursday 23 October 2014 9:13

Should of Answered with nothing because I'm waiting until marriage. That would shut it down quick

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 644

You deserved it 1 250

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 840

You deserved it 22 215

The Top

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 361

You deserved it 2 587

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 231

You deserved it 3 835

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 119

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 320

You deserved it 5 032

Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 233

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 403