Work, Sex and Awkward: Have some patience - FML

Have some patience

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 18:00 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 233

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 40 079

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 129

Emotional support

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 17:01

Today, I went to the emergency room with my boyfriend, only to sit there for 3 hours waiting for him to be seen, then having an argument with him about how impatient I am because they never called his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 910

Ouch

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 527

You deserved it 436

Damn

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 227

You deserved it 55 475

Caught red-knobbed

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 02:28 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 836

You deserved it 30 760

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 07:39 - Australia - Balwyn North

Spicy

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 363

You deserved it 5 153

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 822

You deserved it 2 977

Great mom you got there

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 166

By dvddtraveller - 22/04/2016 21:25 - United States - Oakland

Spicy

Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 814

You deserved it 7 423

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 7 July 2022 20:10

He must have been quite horny to hobble over to the hooker with a sprained ankle. Most people forego sex with just a headache.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 15 July 2023 7:53

You might also do a test for ADHD, because that's a rarin' case of attention span problems if ever I've seen one. And I HAVE ADHD...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 7 July 2022 20:10

He must have been quite horny to hobble over to the hooker with a sprained ankle. Most people forego sex with just a headache.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 15 July 2023 7:53

You might also do a test for ADHD, because that's a rarin' case of attention span problems if ever I've seen one. And I HAVE ADHD...

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The Top

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 966

The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 68

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 587

You deserved it 4 250

Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 926

You deserved it 7 006

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 708

You deserved it 41 674

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 467

You deserved it 12 170

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 807

You deserved it 3 852