I'm not going out there

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - York

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 333
You deserved it 4 084

Top comments

\ 28

I would make an Angry Birds joke here, but that's too tired. Set up a pigsty or something.

Comments

That is a perfect time to exercise your 2nd Amendment Rights.

He is in the UK. He should go Robin Hood on Goosey Lucy.

Give them poisoned bread. They are loud, vicious, and shit everywhere. I used to live in a dorm by a nesting area, and hate geese with a passion. If anyone says don 't hurt them, they never had to deal with them .

countryrose92 23

Calling animal control is actually a possibility if they are Canadian geese because they are a danger but their eggs are illegal to mess by the public, with the most animal controls will move the nest and birds to a different location so neither human or animal are in harms way.

redhedsaysrawr 18

Run outside screaming like a lunatic, and maybe they'll get scared. This might however make you look stupid but if you can live with the jokes, it could at least help you leave.

xcam1995 6

That's when you put your kicking boots on. Give those birds a reason to be angry.

Use an air horn to scare them away from the door.

Elfses 10

Get bread, and throw it to distract them!

Yeah .... feed em then they will leave.... wait.... that may be wrong.

I would attack them back, use high heels, they are exceptionally effective vs geese.

Use an open umbrella to shield your legs n keep moving!

Ask your residence hall to put temporary fencing along the walkway. From the other comments, sounds like the university could re-use the fencing year after year.