I'm not going out there

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - York

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 333
You deserved it 4 084
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Top comments

\ 28

I would make an Angry Birds joke here, but that's too tired. Set up a pigsty or something.

85 9

Comments

Zwingend 15

Just get some bread and throw it in the opposite direction that you want to go. It may get a little expensive, though.

7 2
chuckcloninger 12

Big, blue plastic kids baseball bat at Walmart for $2.98. Will get them out of your way.

3 5
JoeCookieRaider 5

You have to get out of the house to purchase the plastic stick first

2 0
EVnIAS 13

I know this is mean but why no kick? Not hard enough to kill them just enough to make them leave you alone. Also can swing anything you can get your hands on. Not to kill just to scare away! I will be hated because of this comment...

1 2
Cinn_fml 22

Oh you've never met the geese that frequent York Uni campus... They're evil, and I really wouldn't recommend kicking them, or any goose actually. Also, they have rules there about hurting the wildlife, it's a big no-no. And as other York students have already pointed out, this happens, get used to it. At least you didn't get knocked off your bike by a goose... yet. I saw that happen to a guy on campus, it looked painful.

0 0
chuckcloninger 12

Big, blue plastic kids baseball bat at Walmart for $2.98. Will get them out of your way.

2 6
SwtCherryPie 26

They are getting ready to start nesting Im sure, so they are going to be super territorial. And yeah, **** geese, they are mean as shit.

0 2
perdix 29

Make a run for it and if they come at you, DUCK! DUCK!

3 1
SomeRandomGuy15 18

Just don't let that asshole dog laugh at you if you miss!

11 0
charvisioku 22

I'm guessing you're at York uni, in which case get used to it; happens to everyone living on campus :p

2 0
Ambient25 24

OP just needs to grab a few eggs, scramble them, and then walk outside with the plate to show the geese what he's capable of...

28 4