Sex and Intimacy: I'm coming! - FML

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 867

You deserved it 4 479

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Power moves

By Travis - 10/09/2021 22:59

Spicy

Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 1 189

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 5 479

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Spicy

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 953

You deserved it 19 160

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 550

You deserved it 4 583

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 4 096

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 476

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 654

You deserved it 8 159

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 106

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 559

You deserved it 3 623

Next

Top comments

babybubz 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:16

sooooo.. because fish breathe under water.. I'm gonna assume when you 'finish' you flap around all over the place? yeah you might wanna work on that..

wtgjeremy 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:22

tell her she smells like one

Comments

Meru 0

Monday 8 March 2010 19:15

I laughed. Hard.

jayjay777 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 9:20

ROFLMFAO!!! you are so owned!!!

dez63 9

Tuesday 19 July 2011 14:13

we all have weird vinegar faces

LullzKitteh 1

Sunday 6 November 2011 23:00

"finish"? if ur old enough to have sex, ur too old to hide behind childish euphemisms

The_Appendix_ 13

Friday 3 October 2014 13:38

kick her in the ******

Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 476

Today, my ex asked me to return a sweater he'd gifted me back in the day. He didn’t even thank me, just said he’d catch me at lunch but never did. Work was tedious yet even then I didn’t leave without shooting him a goodbye text, only for him to say, “Oh my bad, I already left.” I still love him but it’s clearly one-sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 588

The Top

Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 723

You deserved it 938

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 3 425

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 12 208

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 3 646

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 381

You deserved it 12 175

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 591

You deserved it 15 179