About Cali
Yes, I'm a real live burger-eating, coffee-drinking, freedom-ringing American. I'm not the only one on the FML team though, since we brought in the new intern, Nina. I'm not special anymore. Sadface. Anyway, I do like to keep active - my favorite sporting event is the Netflix marathon (for which I train daily). I'm an animal lover and a lifelong musician; I never travel without my trusty plastic recorder. I think I'm funny but if my jokes get too weird for you please call me out on it, and I'll try to rephrase like a normal human. Send me a PM with any questions/ complaints/ ideas... even compliments if you feel so inclined! Flattery will get you everywhere. Update: Just FYI, I'm on the site at odd hours, so please don't be offended if I don't respond to a message right away! I'll get back to you as soon as I can, I promise. ☺︎
Cali's FML badges
  • Tommy Wiseau

    You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
  • So, what happened next…

    You commented on a published FML that you'd submitted.
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • I never take things to heart

    Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • Going for gold

    You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Cheat combo

    You know the Gradius cheat code, well done master geek!
  • Chicken Thief Badge

    You managed to grab the most wanted chicken for yourself. You sly fox.
  • Omelette Master Badge

    You found all the eggs that were laid around FML. Happy incubating!
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • Censored

    Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    6%
  • Even your mom agreed

    1000 people said "I agree" with your post. Don't lose speed!
    1%
  • Gandhi

    You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
    37%
  • I'm a rock star

    You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
    73%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
    67%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    36%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    45%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    13%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    72%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    5%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    32%
  • One of us!

    Welcome to the club! You posted 5 times on the Timeline.
    60%
The list of badges to find
Cali's favorite FMLs