He prefers the dog - FML

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 360

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Same thing different taste

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 335

Hold me close

By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 119

You deserved it 6 746

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 598

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 4 556

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 7 800

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 2 779

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 714

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 186

You deserved it 1 387

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 550

You deserved it 3 120

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

Next

Top comments

RebeccaMcQ 15

Tuesday 19 November 2019 17:11

Dogs over humans

Charity Taylor 17

Thursday 21 November 2019 4:38

This is a pretty gray area. YDI or FYL depends on how you acted about the dog sleeping with you guys on the bed to begin with.

Comments

RebeccaMcQ 15

Tuesday 19 November 2019 17:11

Dogs over humans

Mathalamus 24

Tuesday 19 November 2019 19:52

Not unusual. Seems quite normal, actually.

mekiswrite 21

Wednesday 20 November 2019 2:14

If you snore worse than the dog or are just a bad sleeper in general, I agree with the boyfriend.

mfranks19891989 10

Wednesday 20 November 2019 3:18

He’d rather have the dog lick his balls instead of you sucking him off

Dale Gulley 8

Wednesday 20 November 2019 18:18

The dog will be by his side long after you’re gone. My dog has been through a wife and a gf. She’s still by my side. When my ex cheated on me, ‘Nalla urinated all over the bed to let me know something was wrong. Just sayin

J15237 25

Thursday 21 November 2019 1:49

I would give your boyfriend a straight ultimatum on that one. Also as a punishment for him no sex for a month or something similar to that.

julfunky 29

Sunday 24 November 2019 0:59

Punishment? That’s a really immature way to handle relationship issues.

Charity Taylor 17

Thursday 21 November 2019 4:38

This is a pretty gray area. YDI or FYL depends on how you acted about the dog sleeping with you guys on the bed to begin with.

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 183

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 1 739

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card, only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 350

You deserved it 4 710

Today, I told my mother I got engaged. Her reply was a great heaving sigh, followed by ,"OK… So how's work going?" She showed more excitement last week when my brother managed to properly make Kraft macaroni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 790

You deserved it 670

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 038

Today, my health insurance has finally gone digital, so I sent them a message through their webpage, asking a question. I then got an email, telling me they'd replied. I had to log into their webpage again to see the reply, which read, "A letter concerning your question has been sent to you by post." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 86

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 13 506