Dogs and Animals: Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers,... - FML

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 186

You deserved it 1 387

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 98

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 771

You deserved it 2 673

Self-defeating move

By Steve - 12/05/2021 11:01

Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 100

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 4 899

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 615

You deserved it 2 843

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 124

You deserved it 625

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 198

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 135

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 490

You deserved it 15 108

Stained

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 177

Next

Top comments

socksxox 19

Monday 23 May 2016 19:04

Jesus Christ how bad does your room already smell to not notice that there is A LITERAL SHIT ON YOUR BED.

Waxwell 21

Monday 23 May 2016 18:34

Guys. Enough with the puns about shit. Please.

Comments

Swandive235 27

Monday 23 May 2016 18:13

Well that's shitty.

mariri9206 32

Monday 23 May 2016 18:19

Sounds like a crapfest, too.

Tripartita 44

Monday 23 May 2016 18:19

Ooh, if your dog ever rolls around in poop, and you try to make it stop, it's gonna call you a hypocrite and hold this over your head, OP!

maxthebigseal 21

Tuesday 24 May 2016 1:07

I didn't realize that dogs can now talk.

hardcorepunk87 18

Monday 23 May 2016 18:20

She/He probably licked it's butt hole before giving you a kiss goodnight too. Too bad you can't stay mad at a dog.

stingray112 24

Monday 23 May 2016 18:28

Only thing I can think to say is I'm very sorry that happened

Waxwell 21

Monday 23 May 2016 18:34

Guys. Enough with the puns about shit. Please.

mariri9206 32

Tuesday 24 May 2016 7:10

OR how about people stop being so butthurt over a harmless pun and get a sense of humor? They're just puns. It's no reason to get angry over or hate on them (puns or people or both) and thumbs down it. (And I'm ready to be thumbed down. Again. For a having different opinion that people also, I'm believing, won't like.)

Waxwell 21

Tuesday 24 May 2016 19:23

They're annoying. People have been doing the same pun over and over on this site for years now. It stopped being funny after a few months.

socksxox 19

Monday 23 May 2016 19:04

Jesus Christ how bad does your room already smell to not notice that there is A LITERAL SHIT ON YOUR BED.

Soluxis 17

Monday 23 May 2016 19:05

Your dog is an evil genius.

CliffyB03 28

Monday 23 May 2016 19:27

Please tell me you didn't roll onto it with your face.

Tamandua 19

Monday 23 May 2016 20:03

You know in some cultures it's actually a sign of respect to plop a big one where someone sleeps. I suggest next time you do your research before humiliating your dog by posting his signs of affection on FML. I can only imagine the rejection and confusion he must be feeling right now.

naajster 14

Monday 23 May 2016 20:42

That's a new perspective to "rolling in the deep"

Keywords

Teenagers Friends Love Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Work Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 19 037

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 178

The Top

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 288

You deserved it 26 516

Today, after I was done testing a group of people for Covid, the universe decided that no, the deed was not good enough. On the way to the bus stop, I slipped and had to ride home covered in mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 127

Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 217

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 5 797

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 508

You deserved it 5 559