Intimate moments: Golden shower

Golden shower

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 03:00

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 386

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By OnlyAvailableID - 08/02/2015 08:35 - Australia

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 067

You deserved it 3 675

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 390

You deserved it 22 958

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 28 858

By Js2cool - 29/09/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 080

You deserved it 7 114

By lizzy1843 - 26/01/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 941

You deserved it 23 848

Strange domestic arrangement

By Mike - 24/05/2021 13:59

Today, because I wanted to let my cat have his breakfast before I used the bathroom, which is also his dining room, I learned that when your day starts with shitting your pants, things can only get better from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 929

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 140

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 418

You deserved it 836

By Anonymous - 26/03/2013 14:22 - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 928

You deserved it 3 975

By Anonymous - 20/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 384

ahabsfan 14

Friday 8 November 2019 3:22

Golden shower from a pussy? Sounds about right.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Friday 8 November 2019 16:28

Call me old-fashioned, but to me it wouldn't matter whether it was from a cat or a human.

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Friday 8 November 2019 3:22

Golden shower from a pussy? Sounds about right.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Friday 8 November 2019 16:28

Call me old-fashioned, but to me it wouldn't matter whether it was from a cat or a human.

YallDeservedItJk 22

Friday 8 November 2019 21:25

Sounds like you want a golden shower from a human 😃

faifai_fml 21

Saturday 9 November 2019 22:18

Wait... you... uh... so this is a DOWNgrade? Human would be better? Does it make a difference?

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Sleep Noise Animals Birds Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 61

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 46 015

The Top

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 813

You deserved it 5 370

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 478

You deserved it 4 290

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 752

You deserved it 34 434

Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 2 127

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 429

You deserved it 38 227

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 355

You deserved it 31 598