Animals, Sex and Weird: Gastropod scandal

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 156

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Same thing different taste

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 894

You deserved it 44 998

By deadhamster - 03/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 436

You deserved it 5 044

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 835

You deserved it 3 109

By PoachedFish - 29/12/2009 10:57 - Lebanon

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 326

You deserved it 3 055

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 855

You deserved it 4 377

Murdered

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 20:01

Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 998

By gimmeasalad - 21/04/2012 06:01 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 36 892

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 852

You deserved it 35 011

By SydIsPrettyCool - 04/08/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 142

You deserved it 3 394

By Brinty - 24/10/2009 04:26 - Australia

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 461

You deserved it 3 564

cuz803 44

Friday 20 May 2022 4:15

Now that's ******* the life out of each other!!! ....okay I'll go now

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 May 2022 5:38

I guess he really... ...wait on it... ..."snailed" her!

Comments

cuz803 44

Friday 20 May 2022 4:15

Now that's ******* the life out of each other!!! ....okay I'll go now

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 May 2022 5:38

I guess he really... ...wait on it... ..."snailed" her!

SirEnigM0nk 22

Friday 20 May 2022 5:54

This must have happened at a snail's pace...

macone 30

Friday 20 May 2022 9:21

I think that's what they call 'death by snu snu'.

tarababy24 5

Friday 20 May 2022 23:23

Dammit you got to it first lmao

sixxis 7

Monday 23 May 2022 10:38

What’s worse, that you made this a topic or that you actually watched them bang until the end?

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Birthday Abuse Social Media Scams Money Health Public freakouts Kids Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Work Customers Gross Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law

The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 708

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a Santa hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 521

You deserved it 6 417

Today, my spouse made it clear that they would rather play video games than be intimate with me. I've tried everything, but get nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 397

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 9 606

Today, my son was booted out of the army after one week for laziness, giving attitude to his training sergeant, sheer bloody stupidity, and asking the man who ran the on base shop if he could score weed anywhere on base. Even the army can’t sort out this asshole I gave birth to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 449

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 934

You deserved it 4 955

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 941

You deserved it 23 848

Gastropod scandal

Same thing different taste

Murdered

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