Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 10 621

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Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 6 843

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 2 798

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 926

You deserved it 1 254

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 892

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 3 617

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 638

You deserved it 9 035

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 17 989

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 269

You deserved it 3 570

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 47 319

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 181

You deserved it 5 614

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

greekamericanpri 2

Monday 27 June 2011 1:05

the best birth control ever! lol

mismonroe 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:06

I'd rather see his pen..is.

Babalu722 3

Monday 27 June 2011 1:06

Thats a ZINGA!

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:07

ask him for a 'high five' with a reach around and cuddling afterward

Consequences 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:08

So initiate it. Quit being a cat.

meggs2209 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:09

that's some hot action! look out! that fourth date JUST MIGHT be a knuckle touch... a girl can only dream, huh?

JLY_fml 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:09

either he is gay or ur just ugly

Quest_ 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:11

Double post

danz123 7

Monday 27 June 2011 1:16

Ugh, girls have only one thing on their mind don't they? *Whimpers* Don't you care about his emoti- OK I'll stop now.

j_cat187 19

Monday 27 June 2011 1:19

let him know you are horney by plowing him in the restarunt

vihan 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:41

what's that

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 026

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 33 942

The Top

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 553

You deserved it 4 276

Today, my roommate’s 17 year-old daughter got broken up with. She locked herself in her room and won’t stop playing "Driver’s License" by Olivia Rodrigo on a continuous loop. Not to mention sounding like an agonizing cat while screaming its lyrics. It’s been 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 150

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 126

You deserved it 62 869

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 245

You deserved it 7 592

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 834

You deserved it 9 221

Today, I called the cops on my neighbor's millionth extremely loud alcoholic party. Music stopped before the cop showed up and resumed 10 minutes later. It's 1:30am and still going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 755