Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it - FML

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 10 621

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Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 6 843

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 2 798

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 926

You deserved it 1 254

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Spicy

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 892

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 3 617

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 638

You deserved it 9 035

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 17 989

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 269

You deserved it 3 570

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 47 319

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 181

You deserved it 5 614

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

amberlovesorange 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:34

BFFS FOREVER!(:

heartbrakej 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:35

if it makes you feel any better... I would give you TWO high fives!

Crncj 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:37

that is actually nice action for a third date

Crncj 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:39

if you were expecting sexual action, then you have high expectations for third dates

johnjohnfries 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:42

don't worry that happened to me too cept that was after the sex.

LandyyJo 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:46

sucks for youu!

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:47

WTF? is this site full of little innocent virgin Marys wanna be's or what? Screw you, I enjoy sex very much and **** your little innocent act! I don't sleep with every guy actually I've only slept with 2 guys. My bf of 3 years is the second guy. I'm not a **** or a ***** but I do love sex and I say it's perfectly okay to have sex on the 3rd date.

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:07

exactly :) it's just so weird everyone on here kinda seems fake. Where can I find such innocent good people? lol

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:12

Oh and boners I don't date toothless old men ;) lol

MrSassypants 32

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

77 his pen is what? What is his pen?!!

mormonginger 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:55

wow ok... I love how women make a big deal about how men are pigs, but by a third date they should be pants free? seriously?

sabrinahusic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:03

I never said men are pigs lol but you gotta go after what you want. Girls have needs too. Why should guys have all the fun?! :P

BreakingBen 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:05

At least he's a fun guy. =)

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The Top

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 12 734

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 953

You deserved it 28 266

The Top

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 48

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 870

You deserved it 3 698

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 576

You deserved it 4 181

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 887

You deserved it 5 061

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 935

You deserved it 2 454